Waiting for the miracle

I have to say, I’m feeling quite down at the moment.

For a few different reasons.

Every day, more dead Jews in Gaza – and I’m sitting here thinking what, 60-100 billion shekels goes to the army EVERY SINGLE YEAR and yet they couldn’t figure out a way to make a ‘robot’ to go into booby trapped tunnels? Or train a dog to do it? Or come up with some other alternative than sending whole platoons of Jewish men into tunnels that they don’t know if they are ‘booby trapped’  or not?

What in the world?!?!?


Recently, I got sent a link to ‘news’ that a fifth of the casualties in Gaza are due to ‘friendly fire’.

That’s the ‘official number’.

The Rav a couple of weeks’ back said it’s 50%.

Think about that for a moment.

And remember who else is currently operating in Gaza, along with the IDF.

(No, I’m not talking about ‘terrorists’, or at least, not Palestinian terrorists.)


And then, remember who else was said to be on our airforce bases the same time October 7th was allowed to happen.

(No, I’m not talking about Israeli pilots.)

And then, remember who else sent all their ships off Israel’s coast…. and all their marines into Lebanon….(ready for the ‘next stage’ of this operation….)


Our nation is under attack, mamash, by the Roman-Greeks of today.

All dressed up in their trojan horses, so you and me have no idea where all this ‘friendly fire’ is even meant to be coming from.


This Chanuka has been feeling kinda flat to me, the same way that Sukkot was feeling kinda flat to me.

I am a little scared, to be honest, of what is coming next.


It’s interesting, that the places with the highest concentrations of God-fearing Jews seem to be suffering the least from what is currently going on.

Jerusalem has been fairly quiet since the first day, apart from that awful pigua by the entrance two weeks ago.

Even places that are usually ‘flash points’ like Hevron have been pretty quiet, Baruch Hashem, and out in the Shomron etc, it’s also feeling mostly like business as usual.

But my sister-in-law still didn’t move back.

And according to THIS article, 370,000 Israelis have left the country since OCtober 7th, and many of them are looking to stay out permanently.


Yeah, they got ‘kicked out’, spiritually.

That’s what it boils down to.

But it still doesn’t make me feel ‘happy’ reading these headlines.


In the meantime, I don’t know what to do with myself.

I have a bunch of translations still to work on….(assuming my blog continues to function).

I have a bunch of research I’m still doing, into ‘interesting’ people….

But I’m sitting here with a semi-permanent sense of ‘what’s the point’, if I’m honest.

What’s the point? Because either the other shoe is going to drop here in Israel, or it won’t.

And there is such a huge gap between those two outcomes, of ‘WW3’ or ‘kinda back to normal’, that it’s hard to know what to do with myself at the moment.


At the beginning of all this, back in October, I ran out to get more bags of rice and tins of beans and some bottled water.

I cashed some money, I filled up the car with petrol.

And I kept that level of ‘readiness’ going for 2-3 weeks.

But I can’t do it any more.

If it’s WW3, God will have to send the manna, if He wants me to keep going.

And if it’s not WW3…. nobody is going to eat five tins of beans a week just to make more space in the closet.


Sometimes, I also feel a little guilty for taking it easy, or doing ‘enjoyable things’ while my fellow Jews are mamash being killed in Gaza.

I am still doing a fifth of a book of tehillim a day, plus my hitbodedut, plus some Rav prayers, plus, when I have time, either doing Rav translations, and / or saying a few tikkun haklalis, and most weeks, making the effort to pray ma’ariv down the Rav on Ido HaNavi.

I am trying to reassure myself that I am trying to do my bit for the Am, however I can.

And sometimes, that ‘bit’ just means making a nice supper, putting on some washing, and doing my best to not slide into despair about the whole situation.


Ah, Tatty.

Please come and rescue us, already.



I’m hoping my misgivings are misplaced.

That this horrible half-limbo that is just breaking the country economically, and killing a few more Jews every day in Gaza for what, exactly? Seeing as our corrupt government keeps sending Hamas fuel and supplies every single day, and even treating the terrorists trying to kill our soldiers in Israeli hospitals….

Why are our soldier there in Gaza right now?

Being blown up en masse in tunnels that the IDF apparently can’t train a dog to go down first, to either trigger the explosives or sniff them out?

Or maybe, Jewish soldiers are considered more expendable, and cheaper, than a trained canine, or robot. Who knows.

Point is… this ‘war’ is serving no-one except the enemies of the Jewish people.

And I wish it would stop, already.


BH, it’s Zot Chanuka tonight.

It’s the ‘final sealing’ of the decree for the year of 5784.

I am really praying it’s going to be for the good.


7 replies
  1. AK
    AK says:

    I hear you! I don’t think the Jordan Times is such a reputable news source. back when Covid was hitting the fan, we and a group of like minded friends were all in the bug out, off grid mentality, buying all this camping and prep stuff. But ultimately my wife and I stopped as it was enough. We just decided it is all up to Hashem. You can only store so much food, and besides the Rav said there wouldn’t be any food shortages.

    Regarding you enjoying yourself, don’t feel guilty about that. It is exactly at a time like this we have to remember to laugh, smile and have some enjoyment. That is part of the psychological warfare of Hamas and our other enemies to always try to keep us in a perpetual state of fear. Keeping grounded and leveled is very important in order to get through these days, so don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing a great thing for so many Jews. Stay strong and Keep the Faith!

  2. Neshama
    Neshama says:

    I’m feeling the same way. Out of sorts today as if something is to happen. chv”s. The pressure, interference, anti-Israel threats coming from our ‘friends’ is astronomical. The parade of officials from America is on the way, coming to ‘bark’ orders “not to do this”, “not to do that”- all of which spells more dead Israelis. JB and his pals are furiously trying to prevent Israel from winning this war and ridding G of Hamass. And Barak is back issuing orders to get his “protesters” to increase their actions in order to attack and bring down the govt. There is such insanity going on now. Something has to occur to change what is going on now. They don’t let up on 2-state suicide, threatening the whole ME balance. All this should push Israel into a corner to rebel and finally tell these enamy ‘friends to get lost. I really hope there is a Miracle. BTW the month of Teves gives strength to Eisav (like Tammuz and Av). We’re in for something and I don’t like what I’m thinking.

    • Malky Schwartz
      Malky Schwartz says:

      Don’t think that way about this coming month After all Simchas Torah is a joyous day until it wasn’t. Things r sometimes the opposite of what we expect. Also tonight is a major time to daven and finish doing teshuva The 8 night of Chanukah usually has some miraculous events.

  3. Malka
    Malka says:

    Rivka, you are doing lot. Remind yourself, this war is psychological- it should affect us all with sadness and despair. I am very sad for innocent soldiers all victims of this war, but feeling sad will not help. Let’s keep praying for complete destruction of this evil empire. Lol about canned food. Sending you love.


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