The day after

Yesterday, with Hashem’s tremendous help, my daughter got married.

These things are always fraught with emotions and ‘stress’ and ups and downs – even when there is no war and all the rest going on – but the last few weeks have been pretty intense.

They got engaged end of August…. set the date for end of November…I ran around with my daughter before and during Sukkot, finalising the hall…. she found the dress and I picked it up Thursday of Sukkot chol hamoed….

And then.

We hit October 7.


For the first 2-3 weeks, we were pretty much just in shock, and praying the army wouldn’t go into Gaza.

The Rav made it clear right from the start, it was a ‘phony war’, and Hamas would never be ‘destroyed’ – because “America needs the terrorists”.

And he was also urging us all to say whole books of tehillim – even three! – every day for at least a month, to try and prevent literally thousands of Jewish soldiers being murdered in Gaza.

Thank God for the two week delay. It changed the whole picture.


In the meantime…. there were all these funerals and shivas to attend.

And then, all the flights got cancelled – except for El Al .

And all the reserves got called up.

And our guest list suddenly shrank to way, way less than it was going to be.


Then, secular family and friends of the groom started pressuring him to ‘cancel’ and ‘postpone’ until better times returned.

The hall they’d picked had been closed for three weeks because of the sirens… The eidim were in Gaza…. It looked like zero family was coming from chul on our side (and we don’t have any other family in Israel.).

But the bride and groom were and are amazing.

In the middle of everything, they decided to continue to build another beit na’aman for the Jewish people.


There’s a thing in Israel that the bride and groom have a bunch of their closest friends act as ‘melavim‘ – ‘accompaniers’.

Or to put it another way, as ‘fixers’, who get involved in the arrangements and making sure stuff runs smoothly before and during the wedding day, so there is less stress on the parents and happy couple.

The melavim were amazing.

As all the plans for the bridal shower and ‘singles parties’ went by the wayside thanks to the war and its aftermath, they just keep coming up with creative and flexible ways to do things to ‘me’sameach’ the bride and groom.

And they helped me SO much, to handle arrangements that otherwise I’d have literally been doing all by myself, or having to rely on my daughter to figure out.


Long story short: the wedding was great.

There was a break in the winter weather, and the day itself was sunny.

There was a ‘cease fire’, so all the people who were scared to come because of rockets suddenly decided last minute to show up (which royally stuffed up the table plans, but hey, there is no perfection until Moshiach comes, we know that.)

And one of my brothers and his daughter came, so we at least had one brave representative of ‘family from chul’ – and that changed everything for me.


The whole last few weeks, I have been trying very hard not to give in to feelings of sadness, blaming, recriminations, despair, anger – about everything, not just wedding stuff.

Even before October 7, I started playing the song that Eviatar Banai wrote for his off-the-derech kid, where the chorus says:

Ha kol she te’vakesh.



Whatever You ask for, God.

Whatever You want from me, I’m going to do my best to give it to You.

I’m not going to feel sorry for myself that so many people close to us couldn’t get to the wedding.

I’m not going to sink into despair, that the world around me is sinking deeper and deeper in lies and propaganda and evil.

I’m not going to stop praying and hoping that things turnaround radically from here, and that more and more people wake up, more and more Jews can get their own bad middot out of the way enough to see through all the media manipulation and to return to You wholeheartedly, God.


The wedding yesterday was so happy.

There were so many different types of people, different types of Jew, in the room, all celebrating that life is continuing here!

So many different people who decided on whatever level they are at to forget about the darkness and the war and the very strange and totally manipulated ‘hostage’ situation – to have hope for the future.

To join a young couple starting their life together, under the chuppah.


Today, it’s pouring and miserable in Jerusalem.

I woke up and my electricity was out.

My house looks like a bomb hit it, as downstairs was turned into the bridal preparation salon with 10 young women all getting ready.

As I type this, I hear the muezzin from East Jerusalem blaring again.

I feel some trepidation again, about what is going on here in Israel, and in the world generally.

Some despair, about all the people who think spooks who spent years working for the US and / or Israel deep state (doing what, exactly? Until today, no-one really knows….) could somehow be ‘moshiach’.



But ultimately, God is in charge here.

And everything is just a test of middot and emuna.

Whatever You ask for, God.

Just please, help me, and everyone else, to pass the tests You are currently giving us as peacefully, painlessly and quickly as possible.

23 replies
  1. AK
    AK says:

    Mazal tov Rivka,

    A wedding is exactly something that is needed during these times. Joyous occasions is what raises people up during these times. I wish the couple a wonderful life. May we only hear of many more smachot!

  2. Neshama
    Neshama says:

    Mazal Tov! Wishing the young couple many years of smachot and fun building their Beit Ne’eman. And much nachas to their parents and families!

  3. Hava
    Hava says:

    Mazal tov! May the happy couple live and prosper with all good things and people (children, that is)! And may we all see the redemption together!

  4. Efraim Yochanan ben Avraham.
    Efraim Yochanan ben Avraham. says:

    May their house be a resting place for Hashem’s Presence and they will bring brachah to all the people of Israel.

  5. Talia Abraham
    Talia Abraham says:


  6. Rivka Levy
    Rivka Levy says:

    Thank you so much for the lovely brachot!

    BH, the couple decided they were ‘binding’ the whole marriage to the true tzaddikim, as per the Breslov hitkashrut you say before hitbodedut – the Rav who was doing the kiddushin announced it on the mike under the chuppa.

    So every bit of ‘good’ generated by the wedding went straight to the holy side, to be applied in the best possible way, for all of Am Yisrael, BH.

    These young people are truly amazing….

    They give so much hope for the future, however bleak it kinda looks at the moment.

    May we all just hear and share more good news.

  7. vivian corey
    vivian corey says:

    Riffka I’m so happy for your whole family!MAZAL TOV !!May Hashem pour down a sheda of Bracha and Nachas for the New couple to build a Bayit Neeman BYisroel!

  8. mikki freedman
    mikki freedman says:

    huge mazal tov!!!!!!! wishing all the brachos for the new couple (and the parents too) and may all the many heartfelt tefilos be received with rachamim in by Hashem and may He give the greatest wedding gift to rebuild the beis hamikdosh and bring the complete geula brachamim rabim, right away!! and may you feel the simcha deep with in you lifting you up and carrying you along your journey closer and closer to Hashem …and thanks for brigning us along too 😉

  9. Molly
    Molly says:

    I keep trying to comment here but it says fail. Just now seeing this one. I wanted to say mazal tov and I’m so proud of your daughter and son in law for pushing through in the face of adversity! They’re off to a great start. May they have enjoy all the blessings of married life! Peace in the home, wealth, health, children, and more.


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.