The crazy reality

Shavua tov.

Half an hour before Shabbat came in here in Jerusalem, my daughter got a phone call.

She was in the middle of doing sponga, with her shabbos songs blaring loudly while I did the washing up.

Then the songs suddenly got turned off, I heard some sniffing noises.

It took me a minute to realise what was going on.

Then, I came out of the kitchen and came to find my kid.

Do you have cold? I asked her.

No answer.

She was turned away from me brushing the floor, so I went back to the sink.

The sniffing noises continued and got louder.

I came back.

Are you crying, poppy?

No answer for a second.

Then, she told me:

Yes, I’m crying.


Long story short, that phone call was telling her that someone she knows well – one of the bosses from her time in Tsfat last year – had just been killed in Gaza.

She burst into loud sobs, sat on the floor and just cried her eyes out for 20 minutes.

My husband took over a frenzied sponga, I tried to do the other bits in the kitchen that she usually finishes up, and my other daughter sat on the floor with her, and tried to comfort her.

Shabbos doesn’t wait for anything.

Not even grief.


10 minutes before it began, she pulled herself together to go and have a shower.

I got changed and we sped off to the Rav, like usual, to participate in the Friday evening prayers.

I just sat there feeling a bit stunned and kind of ’empty-headed’.

I didn’t know the man who was killed, but I know his mother – she used to be the head-teacher in my kids’ school, before she retired.

Then I started crying a bit.

It’s shabbos, we’re not meant to cry on shabbos.

But a few tears still leaked out.


That daughter had a few friends over for Friday night, and by the time I came home, she’d pulled herself together.

Thank God we live in Israel.

Here, people can talk about difficult things without stuffing it all down, but also without totally drowning in misery.

So, the conversation flowed from dead people, to bad jokes about the matzav (very Israeli…) to discussions about how more and more people are just seeing God and turning to God, because there is nothing else to do, right now – plus everything else in between.


When the meal was over, I went to bed early.

I felt so tired.

Today, I got up early and started doing my book of tehillim again.

What else can I do?

The Rav made it very clear, that every second there isn’t another soldier dead, it’s an open miracle.

And that our efforts to up the tznius, and say more tehillim, and ditch the smartphones is what’s really protecting the army – and us – right now.

But each person lost is still a whole world.

And this particular world was married and has two small daughters.

May Hashem avenge his blood.

And the blood of all the other kadoshim we’ve lost so far, in this war.

And may He also have mercy on us very soon, so the ‘evils’ responsible for all this finally are unmasked and removed, and Hashem’s light can shine into even the darkest corners.



  • Maj. (res’) Yedidiah Eliyahu, 25, of Karni Shomron, a fighter in the 8170th Battalion of the Army Corps of Engineers, was killed in battle in the Gaza Strip.


PS: I had some interaction with someone who got sent hatemail about Rav Berland, basically spouting off that ‘three serious batei dins have excommunicated him!!!!’

I’m not going to get into the whole story here that explains very clearly what really happened. If  you are honestly interested in the truth, I suggest you go HERE and download and read all the One in a Generations, but especially number 3 deals with these ‘serious bet dins’.

In the meantime, THIS gives a flavor of what was really going on, snippet:

In recent days, the Breslov Hotline publicized a rare recording of the Elder of the Torah Sages Council, Rav Shimon Baadani tzvk”l who speaks strongly against the Beit Din which put out slander against the Gaon and Tzaddik, Rav Eliezer Berland shlit”a

These are the words of Rav Baadani:

They purposelessly put out [the slander] — everything is falsehood!   I clarified [it] — everything is falsehood!  There’s nothing!  He’s entirely a Tzaddik.  He’s a complete Tzaddik!

Everything, everything — I clarified the matter.  I signed with that Beit Din that signed against him — afterwards, I understood that everything is falsehood.  I erased [my signature].  I said, “I am erasing this — you are liars!!”  Hashem should help… Continue to pray and Hashem will help.


All these ‘serious’ bet dins…. with connections to cover ups and horrible stories all over the Jewish world…. run by ‘grandchildren’ who sign things in the names of people who have alzheimers….

And all operating as part of that well-oiled government-sponsored propaganda machine against the Rav.

But of course, do your own birur and make sure you clarify things really darned well, with what is really happening in this upside-down world.

Because, as is becoming clearer and clearer, your life could really depend on coming to the right conclusions about who to trust, and who to listen to.


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