Rosh Hashana was pretty good this year, BH.

My husband was home, because his flight to Uman got cancelled during the ‘bombardment’ of Erev Rosh Hashana, and while we were both pretty disappointed, at least he got to pray with the Rav on Rosh Hashana.

And the ‘day-to-day’ stuff of Rosh Hashana was baruch Hashem, fine.

No big arguments.

No real ‘stress’.

I even enjoyed the davening, as I actually stayed home and prayed in my house, as my husband was here to blow the shofar for me.

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I was working on staying positive and upbeat the whole chag, because I know how our ‘mood’ on Rosh Hashana can affect our whole year.

At the same time – it was still work.

There was still some fear under the surface.

There was still some heaviness when I woke up the morning of the second day, and it took me a while to pull things together and get out of bed.

I am still scared, in some ways, about what comes next.

I’m still worrying that despite my best efforts to make teshuva and get with the program, my bad middot are still sinking me into problems.

Even with all the effort I make, so much of the time, to overcome them.

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Yesterday, I didn’t really want to come out of chag.

I didn’t want to go back into hearing about more dead young Jews in Lebanon.

More ‘missile strikes’ in the North.

More pointless hot air chunnering on about ‘dealing Hizballah a blow they will never stand up from’.

‘Hizballah’ works for the American masons. ‘Iran’ also works for the American masons. And of course, ‘our guys’ also work for the American masons.

That’s why so much of this just isn’t making sense, if we take a split second to actually stop, and to really look at what we’re being shown.

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A reader sent me a link to this:

I thought you might find the following interesting:

https://www.fieldofdreams.co.il/

See the Sep 24 blog post of first hand account of rocket hitting.

It’s a brief set of 4-5 videos of Ira the farmer from Sde Ilan, exploring the damage to his property from what is meant to be a direct hit by a rocket from ‘Hizballah’.

Take a look, come to your own conclusions.

Here’s what I sent back to my correspondent:

I still don’t know what to think. I know what I saw myself on Tuesday (all the way from Modi’in up to Jerusalem, on both sides of the highway….) was not ‘Iron Dome’, but it also didn’t look like ‘rockets’ in whatever way we understand that.

And I don’t know if a direct hit on a field by a real rocket, and not just shrapnel from iron dome etc, would do way more damage than we see in Ira’s videos….

There is no ‘explosion’ when it hits, and no crater in the ground, as you’d expect from explosives packed into the cone of a rocket falling from a height onto the earth.

What IS true, is that more soldiers are dying again, God forbid, this time fighting ‘Hizballah’.

You recall that all this ‘fighting’ was meant to have got the hostages out of Gaza, who have been there almost a year?

Yeah.

That still didn’t happen.

So God only knows how long they will be able to drag ‘war in Lebanon’ out for, with nothing to show for it but more dead Jews and more destruction and depression in Eretz Yisrael.

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We need so much rachamim right now.

I’m trying to stay positive, but honestly, it’s not coming very easily at the moment.

May Hashem truly grant His people ‘peace’ in the deepest sense of the word, this year.

And may it not be long in coming.