The bad day
I woke up today not feeling so happy.
I was having another one of those days where everything felt like hevel hevelim – vanity of vanities, it’s all pointless, meaningless.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has been feeling that, at least occasionally, especially the last two years. Hanan Ben Ari kinda sums it up in this song:
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He says the only thing he gets excited about is soccer…
When even that’s off the table, what’s a person to do?
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Here’s what I did:
I spent half an hour binge-watching Barduk and even found one video I hadn’t seen before, that really made me laugh:
But I was still feeling pretty down, and like life is pointless. So I called my husband up, and we went to grab a simple lunch somewhere.
He did a great job of starting to cheer me up again, not because everything is meaningful and purposeful and wonderful, even though I try to live my life like that, most of the time.
But simply, by listening, and empathising, and acknowledging that so much of life does feel pointless and meaningless at the moment.
The whole trick, is to try and figure out what does God want from me right now?
And to just focus on trying to give it to Him, without worrying too much about seeing tangible results, benefits or feedback.
Some days, it’s easier said than done.
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BH, God will help us all to serve Him happily, and find real meaning in the simple stuff of every day life, like doing a kindness for someone, saying a small prayer, even just making a nice supper – for ourselves!
Life is made up of all the little things that no-one else notices, comments on, or ‘likes’, publically.
It’s so easy, to think that it doesn’t matter because it seems to be ‘unnoticed’ and unappreciated – even by ourselves.
But go one day with the dishes in the sink, one week without the clothes being washed, one month without giving the bathroom a good clean…. and then all of a sudden, you start to notice how much of a difference the small stuff really makes.
So many of us are so tired, so fed up, so washed out at the moment.
Hevel hevelim, hakol hevel.
Except… Torah, mitzvot and gemilut chesadim.
It’s not as catchy as Hanan Ben Ari’s version, but it’s way more helpful.
I have been feeling similar and kinda depressed recently, I think I need to start saying tk again
We just got internet up again after most of the day without it because the workers in my neighborhood took us off, whether on purpose or accidentally. I did 6 of my 7 TKs before it came back on; the last one ended after.
I empathize with you, Josh. TKs are a good thing.
Thank you for your article.
Actually, I was feeling very low yesterday, with the mind of skipping everything. It was a weird feeling of skpping-escaping… “Esckipping” I wanted to cancel my participation to the Torah ladies class I usually attend. And it was hard because I felt like the mood I would face without going would be worst.
I suddenly realized the Yetser Hara was doing a big job of helping me feel that way.
I watched earlier last week an interview of Omer Chem Tov, and others videos where he talks about saying ‘Baruch HaShem’, mentioning that you don’t know when we will be saved, but eventually it will happen. “Just say Baruch HaShem”. So each time my Yetser Hara was doing his perfect job of trying to put me down, talking slyly in my head, reminding me how pointless every of my efforts were, I replied out loud: Baruch HaShem. It sounded strange to me but then, I felt like moving, dressing, get myself going to the subway. Saying Baruch HaShem while jumping in a crowded train, I found miraculously a free spot where to sit and read my Tehilim ahead to the class. The Yetser Hara didn’t give up on me and was repeating compulsively in my head how pointless everything was, that this woman in the Torah class doesn’t like me, this other one doesn’t care about me, and who do you think you are kind of narratives. And on my side, I was too repeating compulsively ‘Baruch HaShem’ while thinking about Omer Chem Tov and what all the freed hostages have been through (not only that it was in their heads but all this creepy Yetser Hara destroying thoughts was external to them: sadly they lived it). When I arrived, one of the woman the Yetser Hara was depicting so heartless to me, was standing in front of the building with cups, coffee, sugar, hot water, holding the door (which was great as I didn’t know the new code access entrance) as she wanted to serve coffees to some building workers in the street. She amazed me, I remembered how great chassida this woman is and I felt how pointless was all this fake imagination mr Yetser Hara was trying to inject in me… Then I arrived in the class, and there were two babies accompanying a mom and a grandma. And they were so cute those babies, that I couldn’t help but holding one of them in my arms. I was not very focus on the class but it was ok. Some of the girls I knew offered an amazing breakfast, the other one mr Yetser Hara was describing me like the leading head of my haters turned to me and asked me how I was doing with a warm smile… Not to mention that I was seating next to a very funny woman who happened to like very much my jokes too.
I left the class and a woman with whom I studied with some teachings of the Rav about anger, popped up and told me to join her to a vernissage of this other woman who was throwing a solo exhibition. I jumped in her car and there we were. The venture was beautiful, and the artist’s creations mostly inspired by Rabbi Shneor Zalman of Lydia’s Tanya. It was full of light and strength. I had a powerful exchange with the artist which I knew from the women Torah class I wanted to “escskip” in the first place. It was amazing.
Thanks to a long lasting tiny humble broken hearted ‘baruch HaShem’
I believe I spent a big time on internet recently and that certainly participated in the down-mood I felt into. But Baruch HaShem, I look retrospectively in the Yetser Hara game and I tell to myself: Baruch HaShem…I learnt how to say Baruch HaShem
For some reason, this comment really rubbed me up the wrong way.
I didn’t want to respond before I did some hitbodedut on it, to figure out why it got that reaction, but now I have got a bit more clarity.
First of all, at this stage, anyone who is inspired by ‘Rabbi Shneor Zalman’ instantly puts me on the alert, that there is something not so authentic going on.
Chabad is VERY big on appearances, nice slogans, slick PR. The real inner work on the middot it non-existant. In fact, Chabad teaches that a Jew is part of God and so ‘perfect’ in everything they do. Without getting into the philosophy here, that’s clearly hugely problematic, on so many levels.
So, that was one niggle. Another niggle was this sentence: “Thanks to a long lasting tiny humble broken hearted ‘baruch HaShem’.”
There is for sure a time and place to say ‘Baruch Hashem’, but sometimes, God is sending hard circumstances and feelings as signposts and clues, to lead us out of the company and influence of some very negative people and thought processes and situations.
Just saying ‘Baruch Hashem’ and leaving it at that can mean a person is totally missing the signposts God is sending them, for how to really serve Him joyfully, as the authentic ‘them’, and not pulled down and misled by a million, billion wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Our world is shaped by narcs.
That’s the sad reality.
And just saying ‘Baruch Hashem’ is not going to make that go away, at least in our dalet amot.
As a temporary measure to get someone out of a bad mood, it can be very helpful. But it’s one tool in the box, and quite a limited one. Not ‘the answer’.
Good morning dear Mrs Levy,
Thank you so very much for your reply. Thank you very much for the translation you did of the Rav’s chiurim. I didn’t imagine my post would gather so much attention from the writer of this blog. And that it would trigger you so much.
Your answer surprisingly makes me feel uncomfortable and quite stupid in regard of what you wrote about Chabad. I don’t fully really understand how a simple shared experience could create such a stiff reaction neither can I understand your approach. Again, it’s what I perceive from your message from what you perceived of my message, and I may be wrong, but I will try to offer a more specific view. Thank you for the opportunity that’s given to me.
I don’t live in Israel. I am attached to the Rav. Last summer I studied with a woman I met at the Tanya class, some teachings of the Rav, and I shared with other ladies those teachings’ translation I did since. This is kedusha ‘elyona as it’s known. All those who access the Rav’s teachings are instantly lifted up. Rav Arush came and he was like a bottle of fresh water in the desert. You simply can’t imagine. However here, as a community effort, Breslov chasidut is at its baby-steps stage.
We have Chabad institutions though, involved even before we were born and they are doing amazing stuff. They always did. And we (here) have to acknowledge that fact and be thankful to receive the blessing of the Lubavitcher Rebbe in our world, in this galut, in our days. Baruch HaShem. You live in Israel and you don’t need this. Baruch HaShem. We are in galut. We do.
They help so many families and individuals to stay in touch with their Jewish souls. Thanks to the Admor of Lubavitch for what we learn, what we receive, for all the efforts placed to gather all the Jews each time of the year. For what they do for kids. There are many Jews who have no choice but to send their kids to public school. They help with kosher lunch, they go and pick up the kids at lunchtime and they bring them to a safe place to eat kosher. When it’s Rosh HaShana, they come to blow shoffar wherever needed, to sick, old, working people. Baruch HaShem. Baruch HaShem. Baruch HaShem.
I read you and I have to admit my ignorance: I don’t know the Baal HaTanya you are referring to. The Baal HaTanya I know help us each week to gather a group of amazing Jewish women, with two amazing teachers, to share our daily women’s routine, to reflect on Torah and life and to warm up all together. Not to mention there are women alone. They can keep living because of the Baal HaTanya I know. Baruch HaShem.
Often I am surprised to hear from the attendee’s outside of our weekly reunion that they massively love and follow Rabbi Nachman teachings. But at this point, we all gather thanks to Chabad.
I learnt from the Rav to be attached to all the Tsaddikim and in particular to Rabbeinu. And the Rav shared in multiple occasions thoughtful insights about Chabad. I remember particularly the Rabbi’s father for whom the Rav wrote an amazing tefila for its hilula many years ago. And I also learned from the Rav that hitbodedut is done in order to acquire good midot.
I possibly misunderstood your message, I try to be allocentric as much as I can. There are people who thinks they hold the “true Truth”, and the rest is pure foolishness. They come from diverses backgrounds. I had an amazing friend, she is Chabada… She misbehaved with me in such an unexpected way…. but I learnt, thanks to the Rav, to keep a ‘ayin tov, a good eye, and not to associate the mistakes we can do as limited human beings to the chasidut we belong to. The Rav taught me it’s the best she could have done for me. So again I say Baruch HaShem. And in truth, my love for my misbehaving friend is still alive. And I wish her the best. That what the Rav taught me.
For the rest of your judgemental comment about me saying Baruch HaShem following Omer Chem Tov’s interview… May HaShem bless you. The tool in the box image is priceless. Thank you ♥️
With love,
Shabbat shalom
🌞💛🌻
AT
The Chabad shita is ‘self-mastery’ – see the famous story of the Chabad spy in Napoleon’s camp, Moshe Meisels, who had mastered the Chabad shita of disconnecting from his emotions so well, Napoleon couldn’t ‘catch him in the act’ of being a spy for the Tzar.
Most people who self-identify as ‘Chabad’ literally have no idea what the Chabad main philosophy even is, or what practicing that philosophy leads to.
‘Doing mitzvot’ is wonderful – it’s also the shita of the xtians, and especially the evangelicals. Do you know how many old age homes in Jerusalem are now being run by evangelical xtians, to give just one, awful, example? Does that make the xtian philosophy OK, too?
Or is it time to look past all the slick ‘appearances’ and PR and and to start to really question what Chabad teaches, and where that gets a person in terms of acknowledging their own bad middot?
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Let’s give an example, there are ‘anti-Chabad’ websites that are quoting the following. I’d be very interested in your take on this, as this was apparently written by the last Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson, in 1994:
“The difference between a Jewish and a non-Jewish person stems from the common expression: ‘Let us differentiate’. Thus, we do not have a case of profound change in which a person is merely on a superior level. Rather, we have a case of ‘let us differentiate’ between totally different species.
This is what needs to be said about the body: The body of a Jewish person is of a totally different quality from the body of [members] of all nations of the world… The difference of the inner quality [of the body] is so great that the bodies would be considered as completely different species. This is the reason why there is an halachic difference in attitude about the bodies of non-Jews [as opposed to the bodies of Jews] ‘their bodies are in vain’. An even greater difference exists in regard to the soul. Two contrary types of soul exist, a non-Jewish soul comes from three satanic spheres, while the Jewish soul stems from holiness.
We therefore ask: Why should a non-Jew be punished if he kills even a non-Jewish embryo while a Jew should not be punished even if he kills a Jewish embryo? The answer can be understood by [considering] the general difference between Jews and non-Jews: A Jew was not created as a means for some [other] purpose; he himself is the purpose, since the substance of all [divine] emanations was created only to serve the Jews.”
The Chabad-Lubavitcher Rebbe, Menachem Mendel Schneerson. (Israel Shahak and Norton Mezvinsky. (1999). Jewish Fundamentalism in Israel. Pluto Press, p.58-62)
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I understand this as saying that the last Lubavitcher Rebbe is saying that ‘God was created to serve the Jews’.
That God should be serving any human, instead of the other way around, is the opposite of authentic Judaism, which teaches ‘Jews are here to serve God’.
How do you understand what is written here?
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There are 70 faces to the Torah, and each is valid. But if a person isn’t following Rabbenu’s advice of doing hitbodedut every single day, or at least trying to, or at least, wants to try to – they will find it very hard to even understand what is their ‘yetzer hara’ and what isn’t.
Sending you a bunch of ‘love’, and of course, all the wonderful fake heart emojis, back.
Thank you for your reply Mrs Levy
Shabbat is in the corner, I would be brief:
1/ The Admor of Lubavitch is a huge Tsaddik. Rabbeinu warned us to speak disparagingly about any Tsaddik in general, and any Jews in particular.
2/ I am very careful about references and quotations found here and there in books I’ve never read.
3/ is there any reference of the maamar or whatever original text in Hebrew/Yiddish of this quotation in this book ?
4/ if I were to have the original text from the original speech, I would rather recommend to show it to the Rav and ask the Rav his teachings on it
5/ I don’t know why you’re talking about fake heart and quoted ‘love’ that way
6/ Rav Arush advices we should master our power of speech. I replied to your article for some random reason, as I don’t write anymore comments, even my thumbs up are limited now. I reflected in your bad day mood article and I wanted to share a humble experience on that topic. I used to be a journalist in fashion and luxury industry, and at some point of my life, I decided to stop writing as I felt guarding my speech was greatly impacted by my so-called articles. Then my life improved tremendously. I am happy, saying Baruch HaShem. I wish you the same.
Shabbat Shalom
♥️
AT
Rabbenu himself criticised the Alter Rebbe’s teachings and said his teachings were incorrect.
Someone can still be a big tzaddik – and teaching things that are wrong, and that need to be challenged and clarified.
I was, and still am, disturbed by a viewpoint that seems to be teaching that just saying ‘Baruch Hashem’ is all a person needs to do in life. Having gratitude is of course an important part of the ‘recipe’ for living a good, holy life, but if all a person was required to do was say ‘Baruch Hashem’ like a robot, then Rebbe Nachman wouldn’t have told his followers that it was tremendously important to do an hour a day of hitbodedut every single day, and to really feel their pain in that hour.
Rav Arush teaches three rules of emuna:
1) Everything comes from God.
2) Everything is somehow for a person’s ‘good’, even if not experienced that way.
3) Everything contains a message, a hint, about what a person needs to do to fix stuff, improve, pivot, change their attitude etc.
If all a person says is ‘Baruch Hashem’ like a robot, then even IF they 100% are holding at that level and believe it sincerely (big if…), they are still missing the crucial point number 3 – that our experiences and emotions are being sent to us by God, to give us some very important messages and insights about what sorts of changes God would like us to make across every level of our lives.
If we turn those messages off at Stage 2, by saying ‘Baruch Hashem’ like a mindless robot, then we are missing a huge, crucial part in how ‘having emuna’ really works, tachlis, in an authentic way, where bad middot and negative emotions are not just pathologised, ignored, medicated or run away from – but dealt with in a holy, healthy spiritual way.
This is not an unreasonable ‘issue’ that I had with your approach, however sincerely you believe you were sharing it. At the end of the day, this blog is about Rabbenu’s teachings, not a springboard for more ‘Chabad PR’ that sounds good in theory, but practically speaking, really don’t help anyone to move forward or develop, spiritually or emotionally.
Re: the fake heart emojis. We’ve never met, you just know me from what I write here, which is a very partial picture of who I really am, and we are in the midst of a disagreement. If you can’t understand why I would find a heart emoji ‘inauthentic’ in those circumstances, I don’t know what I could say to explain it better.
AT, I have done some hitbodedut on this, and I want to apologise to you for over-reacting.
I still disagree with the shita, but for sure I could have expressed my disagreement in a better way.
Please accept my apology.
Rivka