How can we, who have been living in Israel through all the madness of the last few years, really explain what it’s been like to those who haven’t?

How can we explain, that even simple things like trying to get a short break somewhere green for a day or two, has been so hard to accomplish, for so many years?

How we can talk about the bus stops, that for two years were plastered with posters of the hatufim, and now are still plastered with stickers of the thousands of fallen soldiers, each one a world in itself, now no longer here, in our world?

How can you get someone in Lakewood, or Monsey, or London, to really understand what a toll it’s taken, to be living under the threat of sirens, for years and years?

Even when you know we are being bombed from close proximity, and that most of the sirens are just smoke and mirrors, there is still that nagging fear at the back of your mind that maybe, just maybe, your building will be the one blasted by the mysterious plane, this time around.

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There’s also a million-and-one ‘little things’ that have been so stressful the last few years.

Like, ridiculous as it sounds, I can’t order a package from Amazon, with any certainty it will get here. Between this and that, one thing and another, I have had 5-6 packages go awol now, and ‘the war’ is a convenient excuse for the postal service being so very crap.

The kids have been in and out of school, (not mine, my two are grown up already) – but my friends have had weeks and months with kids at home, under their feet, all pretence of ‘routine’ out the window.

I was talking to one of my friends yesterday who was trying to plan a short three day holiday up North in the summer.

She told me, I can’t plan anything. My husband is scared of drones coming across the border, and no-one knows, if the war will be over, or still going.

You can’t book a flight out, except via ElAl, and who knows if the plane is actually going to take off, even if you can afford the ridiculous ticket price? Who knows, if you fly out, if you won’t get stuck for months outside, unable to fly back in?

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How to explain all this to Jews in Monsey, Lakewood and London, who have no idea how difficult day to day life has been here, for years?

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I am currently feeling quite under the weather, nothing serious, just snot and a headache.

I know it’s a detox from all the ‘stress’ of the last few months. And, I also know that I am coming through this situation in pretty good shape, in great part thanks to the daily hitbodedut, Rebbe Nachman and the Rav.

But there are so many others, who are literally cracking from the strain.

Otherwise healthy people, who just can’t take the ‘stress’ of what’s been going on any more, and are developing all sorts of yucky illnesses and diseases.

How to explain, to someone in Monsey, Lakewood or London, what it really meant, to get no sleep for two months solid, woken up in the middle of the night by sirens and the noises of people running to bomb shelters – even if you yourself didn’t buy into the bombs?

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Everything God does is for the best.

Including all this that’s going on. There’s a huge wave of teshuva engulfing Eretz Yisrael, and not even the politicians can head it off.

At the same time, having emuna and seeing God’s hand behind everything doesn’t negate the need to actually deal with, and process, the enormous strain we have all been under.

It’s not a good thing to ping immediately back to ‘business as usual’, even if such a thing is possible. Each of us needs to take some time to really let all the stress, all the difficult emotions, all the fear and despair, of the last few months out of the system.

Not to dwell on it, but also not to ignore it.

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I know Jews in chul have their own tests, and that no-one gets a free ride in this world.

But, I also know that Jews in chul really have no idea, of the million ways life has been particularly difficult here in the Aretz, the last few years.

Of course, there is still so much to be thankful for, and so much good, mamash.

We Jews are amazing, that we’re still here, still going, still planning for the future, still moving forward, despite all that has happened and is still happening.

But, we still have to take a few moments, a few days, a few weeks, to really process what just happened here.

And to feel the pain of it.

And to feel the ‘difficulty’ of it, and to understand we’ve been through the fire in Eretz Yisrael, mamash, the last three years.

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So it is, that I am struggling to accept mussar about having emuna from well-meaning Jews in Monsey, Lakewood and London, who let’s be honest, would not last five minutes here, in Eretz Yisrael.

It’s been a hard ride.

And it’s not over yet.

And the people who don’t live here, have no idea of the real level of emuna it’s required, and still requires, even from the chilonim, perhaps especially from the chilonim, to stay here.

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Me?

I love Israel, I love the place, the country, the people, the history, the kedusha.

But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to lie, and say it’s been easy the last few years.

It really hasn’t.

And for sure, the Jews that continue to live here have earned a much higher spiritual level than those who live outside.

That’s the bottom line.