Continuing the awesome shiur.

Read part 1 HERE, and part 2 HERE.

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R STERN: So how did the Rav get to Breslov, in the end?

R BERLAND: I will tell you what happened. There was a puncture during the drive, exactly between Chazon Ish St. and R’ Akiva St, on the way to Volozhin. Breslov [the yeshiva] was there, in the middle. There’s this little yeshiva, kids aged 14, and I learned in Volozhin, which was opposite it, mamash, opposite it.

This was after Volozhin, it was already called ‘Breslov St.’ I didn’t have the strength to continue, I was tired, and I was already exhausted, and all the air had come out of me, already, from the tires, from the balloons [because of the Rav’s disappointment with Purim at the Lelover shul].

I was totally and utterly finished.

I said to myself, I’ll go in here to Breslov, to rest for quarter of an hour, and then I’ll continue to Vizhnitz. Until today, I still haven’t managed to get there [to Vizhnitz.]

I went in for quarter of an hour, and I stayed until today.

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After a quarter of an hour – and in my life, I’d never seen a Likutey Moharan, in my life, I hadn’t seen one, I didn’t even know how it looked like, I hadn’t seen it, I didn’t know about it.

I knew about Vizhnitz, I knew Gur, I knew the Sfat Emet, I knew Lelov – but Breslov? I didn’t even know that it existed.

I knew there was some yeshiva with 14 kids, each kid was 14 years old, and this didn’t interest me at all. Breslov simply didn’t attract me.

But then, I was already tired. And I was exhausted.

What can an exhausted man do? I was 24 years old then, just 24, but the strength had already left me. Tov, I said to myself, let’s go into the Breslov yeshiva. I remember still today, I opened the Likutey Moharan, and I didn’t understand a word.

[In Torah 1:1, Rebbe Nachman says]: ‘to join the ח with the נ .’

Until today, I still don’t understand what it means, what is the ‘het’, what is the ‘nun’? What does the het have to do with the nun?! I’m a Litvak, I was learning Ketzot HaChoshen, I’m learning Gemara, Netivot HaMishpat, Takfu Kohen. Where is the ‘het’ and the ‘nun’?!

How does this go together? How did the ‘het’ and the ‘nun’ fall into all this? The Biur HaLikutim says to multiply the ‘het’ by the ‘nun’, and then you’ll get [the numerical value of] ‘taf’.

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Tov, I sat there like that, for quarter of an hour, tohu v’ bohu, trying to get my strength back, in order to go to Vizhnitz.

Until today, I’m still trying to get to Vizhnitz, I still didn’t give up…

And it was already approaching 1am, I got there at 12.30am, plus another quarter of an hour. At 1am, Nachman Rosenthal arrived. Yechezkel [Rosenthal] is here now, his son. He has seven sons, and now a daughter, after seven sons he merited to have a daughter.

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Sarah, was the wife of Micah Zonenshine…

They were the first ones to draw close [to the Rav and Shuvu Banim]. The moment we got to Jerusalem, 5742 (1982), she was already on the way to Columbia. Then suddenly, someone switched the ticket, and she travelled to Eretz Yisrael, and that’s where she discovered Shuvu Banim.

Straight away, we married her to Micah Zonenshine. [At the beginning] Micah Zonenshine used to show up in short trousers, in Meah Shearim he was was walking around in shorts.

He was looking for something, he was also looking for something.

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He came with short pants, and a top. How was he going to be let into a synagogue here? They kicked him out.

What, why are you coming here with shorts?! What?! He was walking around and around like that, in Meah Shearim, and he got to the shul.

He saw that it was written ‘Breslov’, he had no idea what ‘Breslov’ was. He didn’t know if he should go in, or not – maybe, they would just kick him out? Someone said to him, yallah, go in! Someone else said to him, no! I don’t know who it was, who this person was.

The moment he entered, he saw that they were praying with dvekut, with songs and niggunim, and he had no idea that such a thing even existed.

He didn’t know! It really caught at his heart, the niggunim and the prayers with dvekut. He’d never seen something like this in his life, before.

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Afterwards, someone said to him come to the Kotel, now.

They took him from the shul to the Kotel. Now, I am going to show you a yeshiva, that you’ve never seen something like it. The Shuvu Banim yeshiva. Back then, all the yeshivas [of Shuvu Banim] were only located by the Kotel. Then, the children grew so then we moved to here. When the children were small, we lived in the Rova [Jewish Quarter of the Old City].

Someone brought him [Micah] to the Kotel [to the Shvuu Banim yeshiva in the Old City] – he saw something that he’d never seen before, in his life.

People, all of them baalei teshuvas, everyone had left all the nonsense behind, already. He said, now, I’m also going to leave behind all the nonsense!

He informed his father that he had decided to make teshuva.

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He went back to Eilat, and his father fainted on the spot.

Tov. He bought him a new car for half a million. His father was a millionaire, a billionaire, his father. I wanted to go to his levoya (funeral), because they told me he’d already made teshuva, after he saw that his son was right.

Tov. He [Micah Zonenshine] sat in the car [that his father had just bought for him].

He said, what can a car really do for me? What, I’m going to go after the car? I’ve already seen the truth! The truth has already been revealed to me, I already discovered the truth.

He drove the car back to his house, and to his father, until the house where he used to live, there he used to sleep. He took the car keys and threw them up to the second floor, on to the mirpesset (balcony), so his father would be able to find the keys on the mirpesset. And then, he got on a bus back to Jerusalem.

And after a month, we married him to her, to the girl from Columbia.

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R STERN: So, what happened with the Rav at 1pm, on Breslov St. with R’ Nachman Rosenthal?

R BERLAND: Nachman drove me totally crazy. He made me go crazy, until today.

I asked him, why is it so quiet here? [in the yeshiva, on the night of Purim]. I was expecting the drunks, I was waiting for the ‘happy people’ on Purim – but here, it was all dead. It looked like it was completely dead. Deathly quiet, like they… had killed everyone off, here. It’s 1am, where are the drunks?

In Hevron, they opened the winery.

Everyone asked, what is going on, in Hevron? What is going on in Ponevezh? They opened the winery at 12am, everyone drank a barrel, everyone got drunk, everyone was dancing, everyone was jumping.

They said to me, come, you will see happiness like you’ve never seen it before, in your life!

But I was looking for something internal, from the heart, not drunks. Drunks didn’t interest me, ever.

They told me go to Ponevezh, go to Hevron.

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He [R Nachman Rosenthal] told me, listen: I came here to wake up the chevra. He was telling me a fairy tale, a fantasy, I didn’t know.

[He continued] Here, we are now going, I am going with everyone to the field. There, 14 chevra are going to cry out ‘Save us from the klipa of Haman Amalek!!!’ And everyone cries out like crazy people, ‘Save us from the klipa of Haman Amalek!!!’ And after that, ‘Merit us to have the kedusha of Mordechai and Esther!!!’

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I said to myself, this is what I’ve been looking for!

This is what Hashem has revealed to me, this Purim, to escape from the ‘klipat Haman Amalek’! How do you get away from this klipah of Haman Amalek? The Litvaks don’t escape from it, and neither do the Gerrers. All of them remain stuck in this klipah.

I said to myself, here, is the truth.

I said, I will wait until they come back from the field. But I’d already been awake for two nights in a row, I’d been awake. And the morning prayers started at 5am, because 5.45am was netz. I said to myself, tov, I will go and come back again. It was already 3am.

But then I forgot. As soon as I left there, I forgot about it all, and I continued to learn in Chazon Ish.

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I don’t remember if it was the Friday of that same week, or the Friday of the week afterwards. That was the 14th Adar, it was a Tuesday, and on the Friday afterwards, the 15, 16, 17, Friday was the 17th. I don’t know if it was the 17th [of Adar] or the 24th.

I’d already forgotten all about it.

Everything had escaped my mind. It was such a big light, I’d seen such amazing truth, but I went back to learning Ketzot HaHoshen, Netivot, what did I have to do, with such things? ‘Save me, from the klipat Haman Amalek!!!’ Save me, from this! Kedushat Mordechai and Esther!

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So, I came out of the Kollel Chazon Ish, it was 3pm, on Friday afternoon, and I crossed Maharshal St., and afterwards, Bartenura. After that, HaRav Dessler, and from HaRav Dessler I got to Chazon Ish Street. The ikker is Chazon Ish, it’s [missing in the original].

I was walking a little further on, another 100 metres towards the direction of Baal Shem Tov street, from Dessler there is the Baal Shem Tov.

Suddenly, I met R’ Nachman Rosenthal again.

He said to me where were you? Where did you disappear to? You told me that you were going to stay until vatikin, but you disappeared! You promised me you would come!

A week, or half a week, had already gone past. I told him I will come now. He said to me, are you making fun of me? What do you mean, ‘now’?! Go and think about it, yishuv ha’daat.

I said, no, now.

I’d been waiting for that moment, that someone would ‘call’ me, and until today, I am still stuck there. I don’t know, I wanted Vizhnitz. I wanted Karlin.

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R STERN: So, what did the Rav say to the Steipler? Did the Rav tell the Steipler that he was drawing closer to Breslov?

R BERLAND: I told the Steipler that I was yearning to become Breslov. If he was prepared to guarantee me…

R STERN: Wait a moment, after how much time did the Rav tell the Steipler that he was going to be Breslov?

R BERLAND: After a year. I learned with him every day, I couldn’t tell him immediately.

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R STERN: So then, the Rav came to the Steipler, and what did the Rav say to him?

R BERLAND: That I’d decided to become Breslov? No. I asked him, if he could get me out of gehinnom. If he was prepared to promise me, then I would stay with him. He told me, something like this, I can’t promise. He was a man of truth, he didn’t entertain fantasies. To take someone out of gehinnom and take them into Gan Eden, this is something only the Rebbe [Rebbe Nachman of Breslov] can promise.

I said to him, that if he couldn’t guarantee me that [I would go to someone who could].

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R STERN: HaRav, can I print this conversation? Can I print it?

R BERLAND: Yes, print it, and publicise it for Seder Night, for Pesach.

R STERN: Does the Rav want to add something else for the public?

TBC

Excerpted and translated from the special Pesach supplement to Shivivei Or, March 5786.

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There is one more segment to translate of the first shiur, which I will try to do today, and upload the whole thing here as a PDF, together with that passage about the nun and chet from Rabbenu’s Likutey Moharan, Lesson I.

It’s really awesome stuff, for so many reasons.

The basic story of how the Rav came close to Breslov is also told in OIAG 1, but this is the first time that the Rav has given over the whole story in his own words. It’s v. inspiring, for a whole bunch of reasons.

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