There is so much going on at the mo, it’s hard to catch your breath.

In my own dalet amot, Hashem has been flinging a bunch of ‘pebbles’ at me recently, all well-deserved and much less than I’m due as a kapara for my many sins, but still kinda overwhelming and taking a lot of energy and bandwidth.

Flat tyres…broken fridges…husbands returning with ‘Uman-itis’… my own feelings that I’m just running out of steam again, but can’t seem to get the merry go round to stop, or slow down.

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And of course, ‘Manchester’.

I haven’t spoken to my family members yet, but as I’ve been sharing here on the blog for months, my brother and parents in the UK have been expecting something like this for a long time, already.

That’s why they have been talking about making aliya for a while, and now not just talking, really trying to do it, BH.

Big picture, I can’t help but suspect that this is connected to the UK’s plans to bring in a digital ID (which can also be spelled p-r-i-s-o-n) – which is getting enormous push-back in the UK. More than 2.6 million people have signed a petition against it, in the petition’s first week of publication. It still has nearly six months to run:

https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/730194

So of course, ‘Jihad al Shamie’ – a very descriptive name – has shown up just in the nick of time, to properly ‘ignite the debate’ about why the UK needs digital IDs…

As though that would help anything, anyway, when it’s the government propaganda and government-sponsored media that has been stoking the hatred of Jews for years and years in the UK – and everywhere else, too.

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The war in Gaza is just a convenient excuse to hate Jews.

Really, people ‘hate Jews’ because Jews are meant to stand for God, and God’s Torah, and God’s morality, and all the other things that the nations of the world really can’t stand.

And especially, the people at the top of the pyramid, running the whole show from the back, with their ‘puppet politicians’ and media influencers.

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My sympathy goes to those injured and killed in yesterday’s attack in Manchester.

And, the whole thing still feels very ‘choreographed’ to me, as though we just got to the next stage of the big plan written up by Albert Pike more than 150 years ago, to get ‘zionists’ and ‘non-zionists’ fighting against each other, as the match to ignite the conflagration of WW3, God forbid.

Go back and read this article about the British super-spy, Aleister Crowley.

Then, go back and read this article about the ‘Last Trump’, who is ‘Israel’s friend’ for the first 3 1/2 years, and then ‘Israel’s bitterest enemy’ for the second 3 1/2 years – also written well over 100 years ago.

We are in the middle of the unfolding of ‘the plan’.

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I was kinda hoping Rosh Hashana would make all this stuff just disappear, in a puff of sincere teshuva dust, but so far, apparently not.

Ah Tatty! Please have mercy on us already, we have no more koach for the Evils to just keep doing their evil stuff in the world, while it seems like nothing and nobody can stop them…

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Of course, that’s not true.

You and me could stop this right now.

If enough of us ‘regular people’ would return to God, and start taking responsibility for the state our souls, and our lives, and our world, is really in.

Rav Berland teaches very clearly, all these terrorists, all these evil decrees – they are just our sins, dressed up in something ‘this worldly’.

As soon as enough people make some real teshuva – the evil disappears.

Just, finding the koach and energy to keep trying to do that also requires koach and energy. I don’t know where people are getting their koach and energy from, honestly, if they aren’t stuck firmly to the True Tzaddikim like Rebbe Nachman and the Rav.

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Hoshea Allen left a comment about the Rav’s ‘vaccination’ comments, that I am bringing here, as it’s useful:

I am not intending to ‘trigger’ a big debate about vaccines, bur rather to add information that not all of us may be aware of. When the Rav spoke the words he said, it was specifically about the measles vaccine (and no other vaccine), paraphrasing what is written in אבניה ברזל (Avaneha Barzel), §34, from the words of Rabbeinu about the pox vaccine at that time — 7 children in Israel had recently died from measles, two of whom were in Shuvu Banim.

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Seperately, I also wanted to post this up, an excerpt from ‘Tzaddik’, to show that what Rebbe Nachman said, and what Rebbe Nachman really wanted and intended, were often polar opposites.

(Meet me on page 121, #222.)

On the second night of Rosh Hashana, after the Rebbe had given his lesson, his condition became very critical. A few people were with him, and they wanted to summon the doctor urgently. However, they could not get him to come because it was the middle of the night. The Rebbe said:

“It is good to give thanks to God that the doctor didn’t come.”

He said anyone who cared about his life should make sure not to let any doctor near him.

“Even if I myself later on give instructions to bring me a doctor, I still want you to see to it you don’t let any doctor come in to me.”

This is what actually happened later on, but because of our many sins we did not keep to what the Rebbe had said.

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The day before Sukkot the Rebbe was in a very serious condition, and a number of people started saying they should bring a doctor. The Rebbe himself told them to do so. I myself [this is written by Rav Natan Sternhertz] was completely against this, even though the people there thought the Rebbe himself was willing for a doctor to come.

But I knew the truth – that he was completely opposed to it. As yet, I was not aware of what he had said on the second night of Rosh Hashana, when he had given emphatic instructions not to allow any doctor to come even if he himself were to ask for it. I was not there when he said this.

But from the various things we had heard him say about doctors in the past, I knew very well he had no desire for a doctor at all. It was just that he was forced to agree because everyone around him was saying they should bring a doctor.

There was nothing the Rebbe could do to change their minds.

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Not to get into ‘specifics’, but if you read this, do some sincere  hitbodedut on it, I am sure you will start to understand a little more, about why things are not so ‘clear cut’ with all this stuff.

People are people, only Rav Natan was at the level – amongst Rabbenu’s own pupils! – of being able to truly grasp and follow Rebbe Nachman’s true intentions.

The words actually spoken by Rabbenu, at least, on one occasion, apparently indicated the exact opposite.

And I can find you other examples of this, in Rav Natan’s writings.

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Emuna is not an easy thing to come by.

Emunat-tzaddikim is an even harder thing to come by.

And when ‘the stakes’ are so high, i.e. life and death, it wouldn’t help anyone for the Tzaddik HaEmet to make a hard and fast ‘rule’ of how to behave that most people couldn’t stick to, in a million years.

So then, where would that leave the people who ‘wanted to call a doctor’, even though Rabbenu himself had said not to?

That would leave them with a huge spiritual kitrug, or accuser, to deal with, on top of everything else.

Rabbenu didn’t want that for his followers, so everything ,everything, everything, was always phrased as ‘advice’.

Take it or leave it,’advice’, not ‘commands’ or iron-clad ‘rules’.

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This is hopefully enough to shed a bit more light on what might be going on, and why.

As I said in the title, katonti, I am truly a nothing and nobody, and each person should do their own hitbodedut, and learning, and figuring out, to see what their own soul whispers to them.

But this is, partially, my take on things.

And in case it could be helpful for others, I thought I’d post it up.