Histrionic Personality Disorder and ‘War in Iran’

Yesterday, I finally managed a walk with a friend I haven’t seen for ages.

We were talking about a bunch of stuff, and then she mentioned how she thinks she got PTSD from the attack ‘by Iran’ back in April – when we woke up to weird flashes and strange booms, with no sirens blaring.

Having the sirens don’t really help…. I told her. I think they just make people conditioned to feel even more fear, like Pavlov’s dog.

She told me:

I know, but I think I would have still felt safer standing in my stairwell.

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Back when I used to quite enjoy R Amnon Yitzhak (like, at least 15 years ago), he had a great video up where he went through what had happened to the residents of an apartment building that was destroyed by a scud, during the Gulf War.

39 scuds fell on Israel, I think two people died – and the miracles were enormous.

So, R Yitzhak literally went through the inhabitants of that building in Tel Aviv destroyed by a scud, one by one.

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When the person was standing in the hallway – their whole apartment was destroyed.

When they were in their apartment – stuff around them was destroyed, but the room they were in stayed standing.

He literally went from floor to floor – and showed how Hashem did a miracle for every single person in that apartment, that where they were, they were OK.

This was before the advent of ‘safe rooms’.

And of course, we see how helpful all those so-called ‘safe rooms’ were on Simchat Torah…

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Before I go on, one of my friends in the English-speaking Shuvu Banim Whatsapp group just sent me this, a statement from Rav Berland, from yesterday:

 

The Rav said that 1 tikkun haklali is against a million missiles

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You want to know where ‘the war’ went?

Where ‘the war’ keeps going, so they have to turn on the Iron Dome and just keep it shooting at itself, in order to keep the pretence of ‘hostilities’ going, here in Israel?

This is the answer.

Keep going with the 7 TKs a day, it’s literally transforming everything for the better – at least, here in Eretz Yisrael.

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So, back to my friend.

I told her what R Yitzhak had written, and she said, that’s amazing! But I’m still feeling anxious about every little sound I hear at the moment. I mamash think I have PTSD from April….

My friend doesn’t listen to the news.

But then as we were speaking, she told me there’s a ‘friend of hers’ and she’s in this friend’s whatsapp group, and all this ‘friend’ does is post fear-inducing war prn headlines about ‘war with Iran’….

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So, why don’t you leave the group then? I asked her.

I don’t want to insult my friend…. She told me. (She’s much nicer than I am. Obviously.)

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That discussion yesterday was rolling around my brain in hitbodedut today, and I got the idea that I should talk a bit more about the negative personality traits that are the calling cards of the ‘Erev Rav’.

Again, doesn’t mean that everyone with these traits ARE Erev Rav, just means that the Erev Rav have created a world where the media, society, cultural norms, education is all working together to INDUCE these types of bad middot in otherwise good, healthy souls.

Via learned behavior and negative reinforcement of what’s ‘normal’.

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So today, let’s head back over to the archived version of the Light’s House site, back into the ‘Cluster B’ personality disorder page, HERE.

And let’s take a closer look at something the secular world christened HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.

Here’s are a few snippets, to set the scene. Light’s House focuses on parents, but the truth is, this description fits a whole bunch of people – particularly, social media ‘influencers’:

Histrionic parents are among the most frustrating and perplexing parents to deal with.

Their need for attention is central to all that they do, and they seek and develop high-conflict situations and relationships.

Though the methods by which they attempt to gain attention may be ever-changing to suit different situations and possibilities, the end goal – dramatic attention – never changes.

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Another snippet:

People with HPD do not like it when others are at the center of attention, and are likely to make attempts at shifting the dynamics in their favor.

Depending on circumstances, histrionic people are either the life of the party – your instant best friend – or the one causing a scene, whichever will work best for their needs at the moment.

When fishing for negative attention, if these [HPD people] cannot find something wrong, they will make something wrong (and if that’s not possible, they will proclaim something imaginary is wrong to get the drama started).

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And you know what?

‘War in Iran’ is a great way to continually get the drama started.

And if it’s not ‘War in Iran’, then it’s ‘stock market crashing’. ‘Race riots in the UK’. ‘Famine looming next week.’ ‘Global warming’ and melting pole caps. ‘Nibiru’. ‘Donald Trump is Moshiach’.

The list goes on and on.

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Our whole ‘news’ culture is basically built around toxic ‘Cluster B’ personality traits.

The point, is to get your attention (and sky-rocket your anxiety) by predicting negative stuff, amping-up every little drama into a massive crisis, the End of the World!!!! The End of the World!!!! The End of the World!!!

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Now, you can (and definitely SHOULD) turn off the news.

And, you should also turn off any ‘influencers’ online, on social media, who are also pumping your adrenaline sky-high in their never-ending quest for attention and relevance.

But when it comes to ‘histrionic’ friends, and especially, family members – well.

Things get very tricky, very fast.

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No-one is saying stick your head in the sand and whistle.

Clearly, there is stuff going on all the time, and clearly there are ‘bad’ things we have to recognise, acknowledge and deal with.

But every time you find yourself in an exchange with someone where all they talk about is ‘War with Iran’ – and there is literally no God in the picture, no helpful suggestions to take it all back to God, understand that Hashem is in control, say some Tikkun Haklalis, develop a spiritual coping strategy for ‘the fear’ –

Then you should do your best to walk away from that conversation.

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Sadly, there are a lot of ‘histrionic’ drama queens, and drama kings, out there, who get the emotional energy and attention they are clearly lacking in their personal lives by continually:

proclaiming something imaginary is wrong to get the drama started

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When there is REALLY something ‘wrong’, then our real rabbis and our true Tzaddikim will give us a heads up in advance – and give us the spiritual instructions required to weather the storm, BH, with minimum drama.

Every single time the Rav saw a decree on the horizon, he told his followers something was coming, and gave instructions do hold a prayer atzeret, start doing a certain number of TKs, learn specific schedules of Torah etc, work on a particular trait, or bad middah (like tznius, chucking out I-phones) etc etc.

Right now, he’s saying do 7 TKs a day, come down and pray with him on Ido HaNavi (8.30 pm, most nights) – that the singing and clapping and jumping before and after the prayers is mamash sweetening everything – and to work on tznius.

And, he’s also saying very encouraging, emuna-boosting, things like this:

1 tikkun haklali is against a million missiles

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This is the ‘practical emuna’ approach, where people really do believe in God, and really do believe that their prayers, Torah learning and actions make all the difference.

It’s the total opposite of the ‘Hysterical’, drama queen approach of our news cycle, and people who are exhibiting ‘Cluster B’ traits, mostly learned from our toxic culture.

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Tov, we’ll stop there.

I just got a call from a friend whose parents in chul are freaking her out about what they’re hearing on the news about Israel getting bombed in Tisha B’av.

Bombed…. Nuked….whatever.

God decides what happens to us, no-one and nothing else.

We can’t run away from God.

And Eretz Yisrael is still the safest place in the world for a God-fearing Jew who is trying to have some real emuna to be.

Regardless of what the ‘Cluster B’ news and ‘influencers’ are saying.