Yesterday, I was at the Rav for evening prayers.

We try to go at least three times a week, and when there is ‘stuff’ going on, we try to go even more.

So, I was set in the little covered section right at the front, trying to do some hitbodedut, actually feeling safer than I’ve been feeling the last few days, with the madness going on here.

Without getting into details – go to the kipaadu telegram, if you want more of those – I am way more scared of US bombers than I am of Iranian ‘rockets’.

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Just to keep this real, even though I have emuna, or trying to, that this is all just 100% Hashem, and Hashem’s decisions about who lives and otherwise, lo alenu, it’s still can be frightening in the moment.

Shabbat morning, when it all kicked off, I didn’t run off to the bomb shelter we have in the building.

I don’t go there.

Instead, I grabbed a Tikkun Haklali, and I started reading that instead. It helps to calm me down every single time, that there is really no-where to run to, except to Hashem, and into a Tikkun Haklali.

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If you remember 2 weeks ago, the Rav started talking again about how even just having a TK in your pocket or bag can save you from getting ‘blown up’, God forbid.

It’s part of trying to have emunat tzaddikim, that I take the Rav’s words seriously and do my best to hold by them, with God’s help.

So, I was saying my TK Shabbat morning – but still noticing I was kinda v stressed inside.

After siren 3, 4 and 5 – each time, I’m saying a TK, but each time I’m noticing I’m still v. stressed inside – that’s when the penny fell that I was having a ‘flashback’ to October 7th.

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That same day, there were multiple sirens on a chag, and I had no idea what was going on.

My husband was out, I was trying to get to the Rav – we had no idea what was going on.

Clearly, I had some left-over PTSD from that, that popped up again Shabbat morning, and made me feel drowsy, paralysed and ‘scared’ for a few hours, until I realised what was going on, and things ‘felt’ much better again.

The October 7 PTSD got processed out the system on Shabbat, leaving me with just the latest round of sirens etc to deal with.

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So, doing my TKs now, paid the Machazit HaShekel for me and all my kids, SILs and grandchildren, trying to have emuna that Ein Od Milvado.

But still, can be quite stressful in the moment.

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And then yesterday afternoon, there was the Bet Shemesh bombing where a ‘rocket from Iran’ (whatever…) managed to target a purim party in a shul’s underground bunker.

Deep, deep sigh.

May the people behind that attack – and all this ‘war in Israel’ – be swiftly destroyed. I personally can’t wait.

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Amongst many other things, that attack showed people in Israel that the mamad is not saving your life, after all.

This is not a chiddush.

In the last round of bombings, most of the fatalities were occurring in ‘direct hits’ on so-called ‘safety rooms’.

I am not going to speculate as to why that’s happening, but it’s clear that God wants us to only rely on Him, and to not think that ‘safe rooms’ is that shortcut option to dealing with the fear and worry being bombed induces in all of us.

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So, I’m at the Rav.

Doing hitbodedut in the little covered area at the front. Then after the davening the Rav starts to speak, and I miss most of what he’s saying.

Except, then he says something about rockets, and I think how dancing and clapping ‘sweetens the judgements’. And then, just as he’s finished the shiur, he says hinei (“here it is”) – and everyone’s mobile phones started vibrating with the alert that rockets were on the way.

(I hate that alert, btw, and I can’t get it off my phone, which is not a smartphone.)

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I stood up, went outside – and the whole of Shuvu burst into spontaneous dancing, jumping, clapping and singing ‘Or Tzaruach’, whilst a bunch of rockets started passing overhead.

That continued for a very long time – there were an absolute ton of rockets, from around 9.08pm yesterday night.

But the ‘vibe’ was incredible.

The fear was gone.

Something massive was being sweetened, down there on Ido HaNavi, and there is nothing I can write here to really describe yesterday’s experience.

Ashrenu, that we have Rav Berland in our generation.

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This morning, I got up with some more sirens, as I switch my phone off now, to avoid the alert.

Wow, at least something woke me up today…

I did al netilat yedayim, started off with my morning brachot, my husband went off to daven.

With more sirens blaring.

What I can tell you, is that whatever is going on here, whoever is really behind it, God is going to turn it all around for the very, very best.

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On my email this morning, I had this waiting for me from a good friend, who keeps me updated on stuff from the Rav’s whatsapp group:

The Rav said Khamenei was a direct descendant of Haman and we’ll have אזני חמינאי this Purim

The Rav said Jerusalem is protected.

The Rav said anyone connected to Shuvu Banim doesn’t need to run to bomb shelter, they are protected wherever they are.

Not only in Jerusalem.

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I believe this 100%.

And if you want to ‘get connected’ to Shuvu Banim, if you aren’t already, now is your chance.

Just a few seconds before it all ‘turns over’, and we really start to see who are the bad guys, and who is leading the charge of the good guys, constantly sweetening the harsh judgements and turning rocket attacks into ‘Purim parties’….