Alchemy and nuclear physics – more comments from the Rav

Continuing the translation of the awesome shiur from Rav Berland.

You can read Part 1 HERE.

==

[Skipping some about Korach is selling gold and silver mezuzahs and flying in the air with the Aron HaKodesh, until Moshe  brings him down to the ground. Then the Rav returns to a discussion of ‘the atom’.]

If you take the Eiffel Tower, and reduce it [to just the physical mass that’s contained within each atom], you’ll get a staple.

The nucleus [of an atom] is one part to a trillion of the volume. So, if you would reduce the Eiffel Tower, it would be one part in a trillion, it would be a staple. [But this staple would be so heavy] that if you would put it down, it would sink into the ground, it would cleave the earth’s globe.

[But] from the whole of the Eiffel Tower, you could make just a staple, this is the amount of ‘material’, that it’s in an atom.

==

In an [atomic nucleus], there are protons and neutrons, and electrons – they are around it.

In uranium, [the nucleus] is 92 by 146 – 146 neutrons and 92 protons. So, you need for the electrons [that surround it] should balance this out, because everything is positive [i.e. positively charged]. So you need to balance it.

So, ‘against’ the neutrons and the protons, there are the electrons that encircle it, the surrounding envelope. There are around 100 ‘envelopes’ [of electrons] around it, and there are 238.

==

Now [in order to make a nuclear chain reaction], you need to reduce it to 235.

In nature, it’s 238, man-made is 235. [In nature], it’s one [uranium atom in a trillion] that’s 235. So then there are centrifuges, which rotate 100,000 [times] per second, and then the excess ‘jump’ outside.

[It’s like] taking a blender, when it’s starts whirring around, everything jumps to the side.

==

The proton [in the nucleus] is the opposite.

The proton – you have to add protons. Let’s say you want to make radium from the uranium. Uranium is 92, [radium is] 88. You need to reduce it by four. You need to make it fly 700,000 km, in order for the protons to jump out.[1]

And if you want to add protons, then you need to take radioactive material – Madame Curie discovered this in 1897, discovered radium, and this discharges neutrons.

You need a computer that costs a billion dollars, to add these [i.e. the neutrons that are discharged from the radium] to the nucleus.

==

The nucleus is microscopic.

You can’t see it. And then the neutrons enter into the heart of the nucleus, and are transformed into protons. The protons turn the neutrons into protons, because neutrons are neutral [i.e. they don’t carry either a negative or positive charge].

==

So, if you want to transform iron into gold – iron is 26 and gold is 79.

You need to add 53 protons, so in the laboratory, they succeeded in doing this.

Now, take lead and transform the lead into gold. Lead is 82, gold is 79, so you need to take away 3. You need to reduce it from 82 to 79. They successfully produced this, but then it collapsed for them. They still don’t know how t odo it.

The labs already succeeded in transforming lead into gold, by way of subtracting the 79 from the 82, but it’s impossible to market this, it crumbles immediately.

==

Translated and Excerpted from Shivivei Or, 417.

==

FOOTNOTES:

[1] This is possibly a reference to what is happening underground in Switzerland…

==

Here’s some more stuff to read, about uranium 235 / uranium 238, from Wiki:

(From HERE):

Uranium-235 (235
U or U-235) is an isotope of uranium making up about 0.72% of natural uranium. Unlike the predominant isotope uranium-238, it is fissile, i.e., it can sustain a nuclear chain reaction. It is the only fissile isotope that exists in nature as a primordial nuclide.

==

(From HERE):

Uranium-238 (238
U or U-238) is the most common isotope of uranium found in nature, with a relative abundance above 99%. Unlike uranium-235, it is non-fissile, which means it cannot sustain a chain reaction in a thermal-neutron reactor. However, it is fissionable by fast neutrons, and is fertile, meaning it can be transmuted to fissile plutonium-239. 238U cannot support a chain reaction because inelastic scattering reduces neutron energy below the range where fast fission of one or more next-generation nuclei is probable.

==

So, I don’t know if I’m reading this correctly, but it seems to be saying on wiki that you ONLY get U-235 naturally, and in very minimal quantities, and when you try to ‘reduce’ the U-238 – then you get weapons’ grade plutonium, NOT U-235.

Is that how you are understanding this?

==

Next, here’s what is says about Plutonium from Wiki:

Plutonium-239 (239
Pu or Pu-239) is an isotope of plutonium. Plutonium-239 is the primary fissile isotope used for the production of nuclear weapons, although uranium-235 is also used for that purpose. Plutonium-239 is also one of the three main isotopes demonstrated usable as fuel in thermal spectrum nuclear reactors, along with uranium-235 and uranium-233. 

==

So according to this, the three types of ‘isotopes’ you can use for fuel in a nuclear reactor are:

  1. U-235 – which is super, super, super rare in nature.
  2. Plutonium-239 – which is apparently made from U-238.
  3. And lastly, now they are talking about U-233.

==

HERE‘s what wiki has to say about U-233:

Uranium-233 (233
U or U-233) is a fissile isotope of uranium that is bred from thorium-232 as part of the thorium fuel cycle. Uranium-233 was investigated for use in nuclear weapons and as a reactor fuel.[2] It has been used successfully in experimental nuclear reactors and has been proposed for much wider use as a nuclear fuel.

They get U-233 from THORIUM.

==

In a book written by a bunch of mesichist-Chabadnik scientists called: Scientific Thought in Messianic Times, which I have on my bookshelf, there is a paper in Chapter III: Swords Into Plowshares – The Trend of History, that says this:

7. A Nuclear Reactor for the Era of Moshiach

a) Interview with Prof. Alvin Radkowsky

b) Using Thorium in a Commercial Nuclear Fuel Cycle – by Prof. Alvin Radkowsky.

==

Radkowsky (who died in 2002) developed something called the ‘Radkowsky Reactor’ – that was meant to enable nuclear fuel to be used for energy, without producing any by-products that could be used to make a nuclear bomb.

(Probably, this is not as difficult as it sounds ;-))

Here’s a snippet from Wiki:

In 1992, Radkowsky started what became Thorium Power Inc. (Nasdaq:LTBR). Thorium fueled reactors allow nations the capability to generate energy while preventing them from using spent fuels to produce nuclear weapons. He repeatedly insisted that continued use of uranium fuel would inevitably lead to nuclear terrorism. Thorium Power participated in the design of the thorium-based fuel to burn plutonium from old nuclear weapons. It is now being tested at the Kurchatov Institute in Moscow. The fuel RTF (Radkowsky Thorium Fuel) is named after him.

By 2014, long after the Kurchatov trial was expected to have produced results, none have apparently been published. Thorium Power Inc itself has changed its name to Lightbridge and seems to have lost interest in RTF.

==

I’m going to stop there, for now, but Dr Radkowsky was a full-blown Chabad mesichist – and also:

[C]hief scientist in the U.S. Atomic Energy Commission (now Dept. of Energy), Office of Naval Reactors from 1950 to 1972. He taught nuclear engineering at Tel Aviv University (1972–1994), and at Ben Gurion University (1994–2002).

==

Interesting, how the same people, the same interests, always seem to intersect in this story.

==

UPDATE:

According to Radkowsky’s Wiki HERE:

In 1979 Radkowsky founded New Power Technology in Israel….Feldhamer Capital was appointed by the Israeli Energy Ministry to commercialize New Power Technology following an agreement between the Energy ministry and the Universities of Tel Aviv and Ben Gurion where the research was conducted. The advisory committee and board of directors were a collection of the world’s most famous Manhattan Project and Nobel Prize winning physicists, all willing to lend their names to this humane venture.

Professor Edward Teller, father of the hydrogen bomb and founder of the Lawrence Livermore Laboratory, Nobel Prizewinner Professor Eugene Wigner of Princeton University, Dr. Alvin Radkowsky, Nobel Prizewinner Professor Hans Bethe of Cornell University and Professor Herbert Goldstein of Columbia University all lent their reputations to this venture. The initiative was halted after the 1986 Chernobyl accident put a stop to any interest in new nuclear designs, even though that very accident could never have occurred with the Radkowsky improvement.

==

Except…. ‘New Power Technology’ is still going strong.

HERE is their website, and below, is a snippet of a very recent press release, from July 15, 2025:

NEW YORK, July 16, 2025 /PRNewswire/ — With Washington incentivizing fossil and fission as strategic sources of America’s power in President Trump’s “Big Beautiful Bill,” the future of fusion energy is being championed by the newly formed 21st Century Fusion Power – Manhattan Project in recognition that the nation which conquers this game-changing technology will dominate the remainder of this century….

Fusion energy depends on taking hydrogen out of an easily retrieved source, such as ocean water, and subjecting those hydrogen atoms to intense heat and pressure that rivals the surface of the Sun. From that heat one can create steam which, in turn, can generate clean and unlimited power without any of the dangers raised by traditional nuclear fission reactors.

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Like you, I have no idea what to make of this.

What I do know, is that the Rav said this in Part I of the shiur:

The sun is immoveable, you can stand on the sun. There is no end of helium there.

==

The hydrogen bomb is helium.

Helium is inflammable[2]. If you do it with helium, a person can blow up the whole world, the whole of Persia, the whole of America, the whole of China, all of India. We are going to produce a helium bomb, because in the meantime we still don’t have a visa for the sun. We didn’t get one.

==

I’m going to stop there, before I trip over anything that could get me into trouble, God forbid…

But sure is interesting, how many Chabad mesichists keep turning up in key positions working for the US Defense department and the Deep State…

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Cosmology, and everyone needs to go to Uman – more comments from the Rav

Shiur from the 11th of Tammuz, (July 7, 2025), given to AN ‘SH from Petach Tikva

I hope to translate more snippets from this very interesting shiur from the Rav. To get the most out of it, I highly recommend researching for yourself online anything that strikes you as sounding a bit ‘weird’ or unbelievable. You’ll learn a lot.

In the meantime, enjoy!

==

I forgot all about basketball[1], and [instead] learnt eight hours of gemara.

Every ball you get in, I said to myself, instead of getting a ball in the net, I’m going to get [the Torah’s] letters into my brain, and to cry out ‘Hashem Elokim!’, it’s more worthwhile.

Every word [of Torah[ that enters into your brain, this stops the nuke, this cancels the nuke.

We wanted to build the atomic reactor, [but] I said what am I going to do with a nuke? Who am I going to drop this on?

Instead of them doing a nuclear reactor, we are going to disrupt this for them, with a single letter from the Gemara we are disrupting all the nukes across the whole world.

Now, Khameini, he already is not going to forgive [that his reactor got blown up], he is going to keep bearing a grudge. Biden said to evacuate, they are going to settle on the sun it’s not so far, it’s just 150 million kms away.

==

The sun is the most stable place that exists in the whole world – because it doesn’t move, like Mercury, Venus , everything moves.

It all rotates. The sun is immoveable, you can stand on the sun. There is no end of helium there.

==

The hydrogen bomb is helium.

Helium is inflammable[2]. If you do it with helium, a person can blow up the whole world, the whole of Persia, the whole of America, the whole of China, all of India. We are going to produce a helium bomb, because in the meantime we still don’t have a visa for the sun. We didn’t get one.

Biden is keeping them for the Americans.

It’s the most stable place that could possibly be, in the world. It doesn’t move, it doesn’t swing around, it’s not like planet earth, it’s not like Shabtai (Saturn), and it’s not like Pluto, and Neptune.

==

At the beginning, they said that Pluto was a star.

It’s smaller than the moon, it’s less than half the moon, altogether. It’s a big asteroid, they already cancelled calling it a ‘star’.

We had ten stars: We had Mercury, that’s 50 million [kms away from the sun]; Venus is a 100 million – everything is ordered. Mercury is 50 million, and Venus is 102. Earth is 148-152, this is 150. After this, Mars is 206, yes 206.

So this is 54, the closest is 54 million.

When Mars is close, you can see it almost like half the moon. It comes close once every 30 years. We were exactly then in ‘quantum’, we were. In [text missing in original], Mars was very close. It was 54 million, this is the closest, this is 54 days. If the spaceships travel a million [kms] a day, 41,000 an hour, this is 54 days.

==

Today, the fastest you can get to Mars is nine months.

But really, theoretically, this is just 54 days.

==

It’s possible to settle there [on Mars].

You can found a settlement, a Shuvu Banim Yeshiva, it’s beyond real civilisation. Today, there is no ‘beyond civilisation’ on planet earth. Wherever you go, there are people there, people already went there, people already mapped it.

The satellites photographed everything, it’s possible to cross the Sambatyon [River]. Maybe this is in Nepal, maybe, it’s on the Himalayas, maybe, on Everest, because you don’t see it.

[But] today, everything is photographed, already.

==

[Skipping some, where the Rav is talking about a new tribe of cannibals that they found in Australia 10 years, and how the Australian government enslaved them, abused them and did experiments on them. The Rav continues:]

It was a tribe of children in Australia.

The most beautiful place in the world is Australia. Each person has to experience Australia at least one time in their lives, they need to be there.

==

Yitzhak Harkavy came from Australia.

He was a journalist there, so we travelled with him in Kishinev. We were in Kishinev, Rosh Hashana Kishinev, the first Rosh Hashana that we were there, Rosh Hashana Kishinev.

This was the most wondrous Rosh Hashana in the whole world!

==

So, a person needs to know, that Rosh Hashana, he’s in Uman!

Even if he doesn’t have money, he doesn’t have a penny, it makes no difference. It’s still possible to go on foot, or to go on a camel.

Now, they are making ‘peace’ with Syria, it’s possible to go [to Uman] on foot, by way of Syria, you can go on foot.

We will make ‘peace’ with Al Jolani, we’ll bring him mishloach manot, to Damascus, and then continue to Haran. From there, we’ll continue to Haran, we will visit the house of Lavan.[3]

==

Translated and Excerpted from Shivivei Or, 417.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] The Rav was a good basketball player in his youth.

[2] Helium is an inert gas.

[3] The original Hebrew reads: נבקר בבית של לבן.

==

PS: I just spent three seconds looking up ‘Yitzhak Harkavy’, mentioned above in connection to Kishinev.

I got to this website:

Harkavy Family

It’s a very interesting family, links us back to the RIVLINS, the IVANETZERs, and if memory serves me correctly, also SONIA DISKIN (although, that bit has been scrubbed…)

Rabbi Yosef Bezalel Harkavy (1813 – 1874) – Genealogy

I’ve been too busy to do much ‘Jewish history’ here on the site, BH over the summer, I hope to return to that again.

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The Zip Line

Shavua Tov!

Last week, I went for the first time ever on a zip line – the one in Jerusalem, being operated by the City of David.

That’s a big deal, because I always liked the idea of going on a zip line, but I felt scared to do it.

But since ‘Iran’, and all the ‘Iranian’ B-2 bombers, I suddenly realised that I don’t want to carry on living life in that scared space, anymore.

I want to only fear Hashem.

So, I booked a ticket, and I went.

==

The Zip itself is a good Zip.

Would I do it again? Probably not.

In terms of the ‘experience’ itself it wasn’t something I loved, and that I’d feel the need to do again.

But, in terms of the not letting fear stop me from doing things – it was awesome.

Life is too short, to keep living in fear, even though there is so much that seems so scary these days.

==

There are other things on my list of ‘overcoming fears’ that I am now considering, including, where to go with my writing.

I haven’t got the clarity yet, but I am really praying that I can overcome the ‘fear’ in a bunch of other places, and start to move forward again.

I feel like we so all need a new start.

Rosh Hashana is around the corner – and at least in my neck of the woods, you can already smell Uman in the air.

The Rav said to go, whatever it costs, and to fly out no later than the 25th of Elul

The tickets are already going fast, so try the Revivo website, if you are looking for something a little cheaper, otherwise, Derech Tzadikkim.

==

But, don’t let fear stop you from moving forward.

Only fear Hashem.

And then, do what you need to do.

With God’s help.

 

 

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The most dangerous people in the world – more comments from the Rav

Continuing the awesome shiur given over by the Rav on the 4th of Tammuz, 5785, June 30th, 2025, to bochurim from Netivot

You can read Part 1 HERE.

Since the Rav’s comments on the draft, the religious parties left the coalition.

It really isn’t going the way it was planned…. BH.

==

Hitler said that the Jews were the most dangerous people, they could even steal the sun.

Suddenly, make the sun disappear. You are moving the sun! Another little while, and we won’t have any sun! What can we do with the Jews, if they will steal the sun?

==

He said that he was going to launch a nuke directly [at Israel].

In another six months he will make a new nuke, what’s the problem? To make another core, everyone learned how to make casts here. You bring a thousand trucks with concrete, and you make a core within a week. What’s the problem?

==

After that, centrifuges, so China will send him those.

At that time, everything exploded for him. A centrifuge is like a [rocket] launcher. It’s impossible without a centrifuge. You need centrifuges… So bring them to us for the next class. Each person has to bring one centrifuge, and one launcher.

==

Because the [uranium] atom has to be reduced, from 238 to 235.

It needs to be reduced, it needs to be brought down a bit. The whole matter is to reduce it. In nature, it’s 238, you have to bring it down by three, to 235.

And then this will split, then there will be a chain reaction. So, this is all the [work of the] centrifuges, that they spin so fast, so then it pops out. Something that you spin it around so fast, so this becomes dispersed and scatters outside.

So from every atom [of uranium[, you need to take three electrons ‘out’.

==

With plutonium, it’s the opposite.

So with plutonium, say a person wants to reduce it from 92 to 88, this will become radium. 88 will be radium, and 79 will become gold. And lead is 82.

The uranium, over the course of 6,000 years, turns into lead.

Because every 600 years, it loses a single proton. It loses 10 [protons over 6,000 years], and then it becomes lead. And if it’s radium, it loses four.

But electrons [in uranium] – you need to get rid of three, just to lower it’s head a little, so it will be 235.

==

So, they already have 450 [kilos],

This, they managed to spirit away. [With] the 450 kilo that they announced they spirited this away, it’s possible to make 10 nuclear bombs. They will launch two at Shuvu Banim, and maybe at Netivot, if you ask nicely. It’s your decision whether Netivot wants [bombs to] fall.

Talk to the Rav Bazal[1], if he agrees that they should launch one at Netivot, then this will be transformed into candies. There will be a billion candies.

But, everything will be radioactive.

You’ll only be allowed to eat two [radioactive candies].

==

So, we already ordered two nukes to here, Khameini agreed.

And now, he wants to launch at America. Everyone already ran away from there, but where did they run away to? To the moon? To the sun?

The sun – it got moved. Shuvu Banim stole the sun, Yehoshua Bin Nun stole the sun away from them.

Where are they going to make it land, now?

Where are they going to make it fall?

==

So, Jews are the most ‘dangerous’ people in the world.

They can steal the sun, and the moon.

“Sun, stand still at Gibeon, and moon, in the Valley of Ayalon.”[2]

So, how did Yehoshua merit to do this? Because he was complete, vis-a-vis kedushat habrit. He was the sefira of yesod, so he could move the sun, and the moon.

The Ari explains all of this.

==

[Skipping some]

Abdallah [King of Jordan] was in a tent.

Now, it was the yarhtzeit of Dahan, Yaakov Dahan[3], on the 29th of Sivan, it was the yahtzeit of Yaakov Dahan.

He already managed to extract from Faisal, the King of Iraq, he got it, I have everything printed. He got out of Abdallah, King of Jordan, permission for the Jews to come.

We are happy that the Jews can come, we are happy that the Jews will come! The land will be opened up, the land will be built! Trees will be planted, swamps will be drained!

Everything here [in Eretz Yisrael] was plagues – cholera, malaria.

==

They had to – they brought eucalyptus trees from Australia, to dry up the swamps.

Everything here was germs, Anopheles[4]. There was a germ called ‘Anopheles’, without a head. A germ without a head, there is no head.

‘Polus’ in Latin, this is the head. A mosquito without a head, it used to sting and then [the person stung] would immediately die.

Every Arab mother, from her 10 children, five would die.

==

And the Jews came, and dried-up the swamps.

They brought injections, they brought antibiotics, and her children lived.

She went nuts, instead of five children [to raise], now she had ten.

Everything is because of the Jews! These Jews are turning the world over! They dried up all the ‘soup’!

They call this the ‘primordial soup’, the primordial soup!

A regular woman, she had ten kids, five went to gehinnom, and she was left with five. All of a sudden – all of her children are staying alive! There are pharmacies, there are injections, there are clinics, they are draining the swamps.

People went mad.

What are you doing here?! Are you crazy?! Who had the strength to raise 10 children?!

Back then, there was still no Rav Bazel, there was still no Netivot, at that time.

==

[At the beginning of the State] There were just a few olim hadashim, a few Moroccans, who came from Morocco.

They took their children, shaved off their peyot, and sent them to kibbutzim – but it didn’t help them!

The Rav Bazel came, and made yeshivahs there. There are now around 100 yeshivahs there [in Netivot]. In a little while, Netivot will even be like Jerusalem, like Meah Shearim.

This is despite their wrath and anger, and they don’t know what to do. They are stopping the money [for yeshivot], they are stopping it, like that.

They are saying we are going to draft everyone into the army!

It’s not working out for them.

Now, they are going to send another 50,000 draft notices, [together with the previous ones] this is 80,000 notices. Altogether, this is how many yeshiva bochurs [there are in Israel, at the enlistment age].

80,000 draft notices!

And no-one is going. They thought that someone would go, someone would have some excuse to come. Nobody is making any excuse to go, nobody wants to go there. It’s just chilonim, there.

==

Excerpted and translated from Shivivei Or, 416.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] The Rav is giving this shiur over to the students of Rav Bazal in Netivot.

[2] Joshua 10: 12.

[3] Yaakov De Haan, (1881-1924). Dutch journalist who worked with the ‘old yishuv’ against the Zionist plans for a Zionist State. Murdered by the Haganah on the orders of Yitzhak ben Tzvi, in June 1924.

[4] The Anopheles Mosquito was the type of mosquito that apparently bred malaria. It doesn’t land ‘flat’, but bites a person at a 45% angle, which can make it seem as though it has no head, because the head and the thorax don’t appear to be separate.

==

My dad was one of those Moroccans sent to a Northern kibbutz, to be ‘deprogrammed’ from being an orthodox Jew….

The amount of suffering the people in charge of the State have caused the Jews cannot begin to be described.

But as the Rav says, today, Netivot is bursting to the seams – they are putting up whole new quarters of apartments and homes all over the place.

It’s a city of Torah, mamash.

And no-one was killed there on October 7th,

And the same ‘rockets’ will there, as fall on Jerusalem – i.e. none.

Torah is really the protection, not the army.

==

PS: My mum just sent me this – from Morocco, apparently the shul where my grandmother’s family used to pray in, 200 years go.

I Went To An Ancient Synagogue in Morocco, What I Spotted Blew Me Away…

We’ll come back to Morocco again soon, BH.

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The ‘online world’ gets even more toxic

I logged on for half an hour today, after a couple of days ‘offline’.

I literally came offline feeling a bit queasy.

There is so much ‘crazy’ going on these days – in the apparently ‘real’ world – that I’m finding my tolerance for it all is diminishing all the time.

My soul is yearning for real people, real conversations, real relationships, offline.

Not just more and more and more pointless ranting, pointless theorising, pointless ‘explanations’ for how Trump decided to ‘clean the swamp’ by decreeing it never existed in the first place, and was all a figment of Obama’s imagination.

Ludicrous as all this sounds, there are still people recycling this stuff and giving it play time.

Even in the Jewish world.

Even in the apparently ‘frum’ Jewish world.

Especially in the Jewish world that was telling everyone just how great Trump was because he showed up to the Rebbe’s Ohel.

==

So, here is what you can expect to read here on the blog, going forward, BH.

  1. More stuff from the Rav – BH, I will translate some more bits now and put that up before Shabbat.
  2. More ‘real Jewish history’ stuff – watch out for that soon, I have a bunch of stuff to share.
  3. Occasional posts with my own thoughts and feelings.

Bezrat Hashem, I am really hoping to stay out of the toxic fake-news world that is ‘online’, and just to hunker down, concentrate on the dalet amot, and focus on all the good in that, instead of pointlessly speculating or ranting about stuff outside of it, that I really know nothing about.

Life is too short to waste it debating all this garbage all time, or listening to people with agendas they warp information to promote.

Way too short.

==

In the dalet amot, it seems to me things are starting to lighten up a little.

There is so much teshuva and suffering going on, it’s for sure having a massive sweetening effect, here in the Holy Land.

Life goes on.

There is still so much to be grateful for, and happy about.

At least, offline, and out of the toxic soup that is the so-called ‘real world’.

So, I will get on with translating some of the Rav’s stuff now, and if you are staying offline more and more – good for you!

It’s the single best thing you could do for your mental health, level of happiness and spiritual wellbeing.

And for those still hanging on enough to come visit the site – I will carry on writing, as long as it’s useful. With God’s help.

 

 

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‘Willful Blindness’

I spoke to my brother in London yesterday.

I was telling him how it feels like we’ve all turned into ‘emotional zombies’ on some level, here in Israel, because it’s been such a difficult couple of years.

On the one hand, what’s going on hurts and upsets so much, especially the lies, and the fact that Jews are dying because they are being set up to die. The whole thing is scripted, and BH, more and more people are waking up to that.

At the same time, if we fall too much into the ‘rabbit hole’ of all the evil gushing out of the political and military echelons here, that can make a person so angry, depressed and despairing, or panicked, that they can’t function properly.

It’s a very narrow bridge.

==

I know from myself, I seem to have very little bandwidth to really talk to people at the moment, even people that I really love and like.

Perhaps more important, now that I’ve realised what is going on, and how it’s closing down my world, I am starting the push-back in earnest, with God’s help.

I am starting to talk again, feel again, really talk to God about all this again, to set aside a bit of time to explore my true feelings about what is going on.

It’s hard going.

==

At the same time, I am seeing so much good in Am Yisrael.

The media here are going out of their way to keep harping on about all the pointless, low-level cack that makes it seem we are a nation of thugs and yucky people. But the people I meet day to day in Israel are mostly amazing.

I am amazed, that my daughters’ generation is just moving forward, getting married, having families continuing to try to build the world, when so much chaos and destruction is all around.

I am amazed, that so many people are continuing to move here from abroad (more on that in a moment). So many people here are not going abroad for a break in the summer, not just because the plane tickets are so expensive, but because they don’t want to get stuck outside of the country, if things kick off again…

That’s amazing.

==

I’m amazed at the resilience.

I’m amazed at all the mothers who are keeping their families together in very trying circumstances, mamash acting as the shock-absorber, so their kids can just carry on in semi-normality.

(BTW, being the ‘shock-absorber’ starts to take its toll. I am encouraging all the women out there to take as much time as they can for themselves, and to ‘pamper themselves’ a little, in any way they can. Without guilt, and without worrying about how much a bit of ‘pampering’ costs’.)

I’m amazed at all the men still seriously learning Torah – when our corrupt government is doing everything in its power to punish them for doing so.

==

The list could go on and on – but b’kitzur, I am seeing so many things happening going on right now, so much good, so much basic emuna, flowing out of so many people, in such ‘mundane’ circumstances that is mostly going unremarked and unrecognised.

But it’s truly amazing.

Who is like Your people, Israel?

==

So now, back to the phone call with my brother in London.

I told him about how we’re all ‘emotional zombies’ in Israel at the moment, as it’s been so much to deal with.

Not easy, to face the prospect that some B-2 bomber flown by ‘Iranians’ might toast your mamad and poof! Either you’re dead or seriously wounded. Not easy, to have sons in Gaza, knowing that the army is playing fast and loose with their lives. Not easy, to deal with the reality that when they switch the ‘war on’ button again, life-threatening chaos can descend in an instant.

Not easy at all.

So, I was surprised when he told me that fear-induced ‘emotional zombie-ism’ is happening all over the British Jewish community, too.

==

People are scared, but they don’t want to admit what’s going on.

And I don’t think they will ever snap out of it, because it’s willful blindness, at this point. They don’t want to know what’s really happening.

==

That’s what he told me.

My brother has a plan to leave the UK as soon as his kids finish an important stage of their education. He has a big house in a wealthy ‘Jewish’ suburb, and he follows the property market closely for work. He told me, he might already have missed the window for trying to get a good price for his house.

I told him about my SIL, who was saying the exact same thing about her big property in the UK– and then paid a pidyon to the Rav, and got a cash buyer two days later. The one and only offer, in three years of the house being on the market.

That’s a miracle! He told me.

I could see it gave him some hope, that he won’t get stuck in the UK, weighed down by his property. Bezrat Hashem.

==

According to him, a lot of people are starting to talk about moving, but without really addressing the reason why they want to move.

That’s still way too scary.

So, they talk about the economy, the cost of living (my brother told me everything has doubled here, the last few years, I really don’t know how people are managing). They talk about the lack of prospects for young people, generally. The more frum people talk about the terrible ‘anti-Israel bias of the BBC’, while the less frum people basically just believe all the ‘anti Israel bias of the BBC’, and are blaming ‘the settlers’ for all of Israel’s problems.

==

So then, they get to the question of where to move to?

Apparently, some Jews in the UK, including another brother, think that America is still the goldeneh medina. The grass is always greener, even when ‘the grass’ is actually full of poisonous vipers…

Many people are talking about Israel – but are scared to come here, so they say. Partially, because of ‘the war’, and partially,  because they don’t want their sons being forced into an army where they are being killed like sitting ducks.

These are not ‘chareidim’, these are solid, modern orthodox / dati leumi types, that can see the picture clearer from the outside, at least on this subject, because they aren’t bombarded with the same brainwashing and censorship we get in the medina.

==

The chareidim here who are not going to the army are not just standing up against tyranny ‘for chareidim in Israel’.

They are standing up for a whole bunch of Jews who know our current system is corrupt from start to finish.

The police recently sent to ‘catch deserters’ at the airport are not actually catching a lot of chareidim. Israeli chareidim, unless they come from abroad in the first place, have very little interest in going out of Israel.

They have big families, not very big incomes, they use mikvaot, keep properly kosher, like their davening – going abroad has very little attraction, for most of them (unless they go to Uman).

Who is going abroad are all the dati leumi, and regular masorti Israelis. I.e., the backbone of the miluim system.

And as more of them start to push-back against the terrible corruption and mistreatment of the soldiers in combat, and are refusing to continue with their miluim, those are the ones the State is now trying to intimidate, with arrests at the airport.

==

B’kitzur – it’s a complicated, convoluted hot mess.

But this is also totally by Hashem’s design.

If there was no war here in Israel right now, the gates would be stormed by many, many more Jews from chul, who can see things are getting very dodgy, in chul.

So to keep it all balanced, and to keep ‘free choice’ operating at the correct level, there is a horrible war in Israel, horrible corruption, horrible State-sponsored tyranny, that is not a simple thing to deal with.

On the other side of that equation – so many people here are amazing.

The open miracles are still coming thick and fast.

Life is continuing here, despite it all, and Israel, incredibly, is still kind of ‘blooming’, although I honestly have no idea how that can be the case, given two years of war, and all the political corruption.

==

I just want to end by returning to the idea of ‘willful blindness’.

Because all of us have our own ‘blindspots’, whether it’s believing in ‘Mr Maga’ and his 5-D chess; or telling ourselves bubbe meises that 770 is going to grow wings and transport everyone to Jerusalem, as soon as moshiach shows up (or to be more accurate, ‘climbs out of his grave in the Queens’ cemetery’.)

I was pondering the source of the ‘willful blindness’ going on in Jewish communities in London, and Melbourne, and Flatbush, where the cost of failing to understand the current sea-change in the attitude towards Jews could be catastrophic, God forbid.

I thought it mostly boiled down to ‘fear of change’.

My brother in London disagreed. He thinks it’s coming from most Jews being ‘woke’, and also, being overly-invested in property and status.

==

His crowd all have ‘big houses’, ‘good jobs in the City’.

They all worry about their ‘carbon footprint’.

They all go on 2-3 expensive holidays a year.

It goes without saying, they took every shot offered, and made my brother a pariah for refusing to go along with the Covid scam.

==

Deep down, they know they got conned, and that they are still being conned, but they don’t want to admit it, he told me.

Even if you put facts and information in their faces, they still won’t admit it.

It’s willful blindness – and that’s why I don’t think they are ever going to change. Until it’s too late.

==

Me?

I believe God is so great, even the ‘willfully blind’ can wake up, in theory, before it’s ‘too late’.

There are no guarantees of anything, wherever we happen to live – although the last two years have proven repeatedly, that even when our enemies are throwing everything they have at Am Israel in Eretz Israel – somehow, we are still standing, living, growing, moving forward.

It must be driving them bonkers.

==

In chul?

I’m not so sure.

My brother keeps telling me more stories of bent Jews who lose their morals whenever money comes into the picture.

(Of course, there are bent Jews in Israel who also lose their morals whenever money comes into the picture. That’s basically a requirement to sit in the Knesset.)

But here, it’s balanced out by so very many ‘good Jews’, good people, with simple faith in God, even if they don’t dress frum or look ‘religious’.

Here, there is a basic level of kedusha, of God’s protection, that is helping us, even when our personal morality is not what it could be.

There is nothing like sitting in a mamad at 4am, listening to booms all around, to cut through the superficiality, and to get to the tachlit of why am I really here? If it all ends now, what did I do with myself? How am I living? What’s the point?!

==

That’s why I guarantee, there is a huge wave of teshuva building in the Jewish world.

Not only in Israel – everywhere where a Jew has been forced into a situation where they have to face themselves, and get to the tachlit.

Everywhere where a Jew has been forced out of their ‘comfort zone’.

==

BH, I pray even the ‘willfully blind’ will leave the comfort zone, before it’s too late.

I pray that God will give us all the koach to stick close to Him, and His True Tzaddikim, and to not get drowned in all the pain, suffering and fear that we are still swimming against.

And that all of us will develop the emuna to understand we can’t run away from God, or suffering, wherever we happen to live in the world, and however big our bank accounts are.

Am Yisrael are amazing.

And bottom line: God loves us, and all this ultimately leading to a very good place.

Just, it takes an hour of doing hitbodedut everysingle day to keep hold of our souls while the storm is raging, and to keep noticing the tremendous light shining out of the darkness.

 

 

 

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‘Shivayon’ – more comments from the Rav

Excerpts of a shiur from the 4th of Tammuz, 5785, June 30th, 2025

There is still more to come of this very interesting shiur, that contains a whole bunch of hints about what is really happening here.

BH, I will try to post up more before Shabbat.

==

In the month of Tammuz, they sinned with the Calf, and also received the first Luchot (Ten Commandments).

A person needs to know what he’s choosing, the first Luchot or the Calf. He needs to know, he needs to decide. Today, it’s time to decide what you want to do – the Calf, or the first Luchot. Decide!

If you want the Calf, so fine, you will dance around the Calf….

==

“It happened as he drew near the camp and saw the calf and the dances, that Moses’ anger flared up.”[1]

About this he got angry – the dances.

Never mind, a person makes a Calf – but then, to go and dance around it?! He already couldn’t stand this. What, be ashamed of yourselves!

A person makes a Calf – he should be embarrassed!

I didn’t stand up to the test, I have a yetzer hara, all sorts of reasons, I’m used to Egypt [where they served idols], I worshipped the lamb[2] – that’s why they had to slaughter the lamb.

But then, to go and dance around it?!

And to make a feast, and to be happy?! And to eat borekas and blintzes?!

Moshe said, This, I can already no longer stand it!!!

==

So, the month of Tammuz, this is also the Calf and also the first Luchot.

A person needs to decide, what is he choosing. For the only and last time.

Today, people need to decide what they prefer – the Calf, or the first Luchot.

If he prefers the first Luchot, then he can’t make a Calf. It’s impossible, to make a Calf. And he’ll walk around with his eyes closed, everything.

==

[Skipping some]

Why is he [Iran’s leader] called Khaminei?

Because he should have made a hamin (Sephardi cholent) for Shabbat. Now that he’s gone into hiding, there is no-one to make a hamin. On Shabbat, I didn’t have a hamin.

Trump terrified him. I didn’t have a hamin. I wanted a hamin for Shabbat, I sent a message to Tehran that it should be brought, but no-one knows where he is.

Trump says, I actually do know where he is.

He said to him, I know where you are, but I’m having mercy on you. Make teshuva, say ‘I made a mistake’, and that’s that.

He [Khameini] even made some victory parades. I won!!

Where is the intelligence? Acknowledge the truth, admit the truth, and everything will turn around for you. I will forgive you.

==

But he wants to make a hamin, he is not giving up on the hamin.

Trump screamed at him, send the hamin! Make a hamin in the bunker, what does it matter where it’s made, send it over!!!

So, everyone will fly to Teheran. (Turning to someone next to him:) Are you going to fly to Teheran after the shiur? To bring hamin? To bring cholent? Say yes! You have to go, say yes! You will go, and I will arrange a private plane for you…

==

Once upon a time, everyone knew how to fly.

Korach used to fly in the air. Why did he fly in the air? He travelled with the Ark, he used to fly in the air.[3]

Poor man, Moshe Rabbenu walked with a stick, like that, a an 80 year old Jew, already 81, a bit feeble, everyone followed after him, trailed after him, and he delayed the whole of Am Yisrael.

They wanted to go fast, to get closer, and he went slowly, he covered a kilometre a day. A Jew aged 81 – it’s impossible to ask more from him.

And Korach said, what is this?! They should follow after me! I fly in the air – come after me! I travel out in front for three days, I fly in the air!

==

[The Rav turns to someone next to him:]

You need to know how to fly. Take some lessons from Korach, learn how to fly in the air.

You need 200 flying lessons, and then you can be a pilot for El Al.[4]

100 lessons is for a helicopter. So today, now we are 100 days away from Rosh Hashana. You can do 100 lessons, and like that, fly out for Rosh Hashana in an helicopter.

Everyone here is going to be a pilot. In every helicopter, it’s possible to put 20 people, the biggest one fits 20 people. 20 people, 100 helicopters – this is 2,000 people. And then all Netivot, all of Ofakim – everyone can be fitted in.

So, each person should take flying lessons.

==

Today, it’s the 5th of Tammuz, until the 25th of Elul, we have exactly 100 days.

25 [of Elul] and 25 [of Tammuz], this is 50, and we still have Av. Today it’s Tammuz, Av. Tammuz, Av – this is 60. So, we have 110 days left [on top of 85 days], another 10 days, this is 100. From today, it’s exactly 110 days, until the 25th of Elul. So, it’s possible to take 110 lessons, and to fly to Rabbenu HaKadosh in helicopters.

==

[Skipping some]

==

The Rebbe was one of the hatufim (kidnapped).

It’s another story, how they kidnapped him. They wanted 10,000 terrorists in exchange for him, but Bibi didn’t agree.

Bibi didn’t agree to the deals. I don’t know, is he against the return of the captives? What’s going on here? Why didn’t he agree to 10,000 terrorists, what does he care?

The ikker (main thing) is to free Rabbenu! But he didn’t agree. He’s stubborn.

Biden said 8,000, he said, 5,000.

The Hamas is not compromising. Hamas said, our word is our word – they aren’t going back on what they said. This is not like the Persians, (who said) We will launch rockets, we will fire a nuke!

In the end, they didn’t fire anything.

It’s impossible to rely on them.

==

I stood on the mirpesset (balcony) the whole night[5], I wanted to catch a rocket – and it didn’t work out for me.

I relied on him, I thought that his word is his word, but he didn’t send any rockets over to us. He dumped something there, in Beer Sheva, and on Beit Shean, he dumped something on Petach Tikva.

Why couldn’t he have sent a single rocket to here, also? Why did I have to miss out, just because I live in Jerusalem? So, I don’t deserve a rocket? What’s going on here?! What is this protektzia? What is this discrimination?

Where is the shivayon (equality)?[6]

==

I went to Kaplan, and I made a demonstration against him.

He fired on Beer Sheva, fired on Beit Shean, Netivot he didn’t fire at, so then, that’s it. So, there is no shivayon. That’s it, I saw that there is no ‘equality’, there is nothing to do, [except] to go to demonstrations at Kaplan and to scream shivayon!!! To go with placards.

In the end, he only fired at Petach Tikva, Beer Sheva and on Beit Shean, and on Bat Yam, he fired. People were killed there.

One time, also send one over to Netivot.

[He said] No, Netivot I am not messing with Netivot. The Baba Sali is there, and I’m scared of him. I’m scared of the Baba Sali, what can I do?

Halavai, that I should be as scared of the Baba Sali as he is.[7]

==

The terrorists [on Simchat Torah] came [to Netivot] and then ran away.

Suddenly, they saw the Baba Sali, who revealed himself to them and told them go to Re’im.

They fled, and didn’t kill anyone [in Netivot].

In Ofakim they killed 42 people, but in Netivot they didn’t murder even one person. The Baba Sali was protecting them.

But now, we are going to Uman in another 110 days.

We are going to Uman.

==

Excerpted and translated from Shivivei Or, 416.

==

FOOTNOTES:

[1] Parshat Ki Tisa, 32:19.

[2] Interestingly, this is how xtians often refer to Yoshki.

[3] See Likutey Halachot, Choshen Mishpat. Halachot Erev, Halacha 5.

[4] The last time the Rav spoke a great deal about Shuvu Banim needing to become pilots was in the months before October 7, 2023.

[5] This is where the Rav stands to conduct the ma’ariv prayers for Shuvu Banim, on Ido HaNavi Street.

[6] Shivayon is the main complaint being made against the Chareidim who don’t serve in the army.

[7] The Baba Sali was meant to be pushing for the geula to come last / this year, and the Rav and Rebbe Nachman were opposing it, on the grounds that people needed more time to make teshuva.

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The end of MAGA

Someone just sent me this:

==

Trump, Mr MAGA, is showing his true colours more and more.

Yah, there’s no Epstein Black Book!!!

(You, and me, and everyone who still has at least one functioning brain cell knows there is. In fact, a few years ago, I think I even downloaded a redacted copy of it off the net, that still had a lot of interesting names….)

But no, the ‘Tuv she be Eysav’ has now decided that Epstein was just a big ‘Dems Psyop’.

Ghislaine Maxwell is probably expecting a presidential pardon any minute…

==

What’s even more interesting from this video above, is the comments section, where they were talking about the ‘snake poem’ that the Tuv she be Eysav was reading at his presidential rallies all year long.

==

I never heard of this ‘snake’ poem before – although, I know Trump has been a snake right from the beginning.

So I went to look it up.

Wow.

They always tell us the truth, straight in our faces, but most of us are still following ‘false prophets’ jabbering on about the ‘tuv she be Eysav’ and the Edomite ‘Moshiach’.

(Especially, if we are still thinking the ‘Baddddd are good.)

==

Bottom line:

That same MAGA snake that bit everyone last time around with ‘Operation Warp Speed’ is back again.

This time, bombing Israel and blaming it on Iran.

And who knows what else the snake has planned for humanity?

==

But the snake is also just a puppet, and if we didn’t know we only had God to rely on before, we are sure figuring that out now.

Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but the same thing is starting to happen here, with our own ‘tuv she be politicans’.

Our own sweet-talking snake, who has bitten us so many times, and is still biting us, especially with this horrible, pointless war.

==

On that score, CW has been doing some excellent journalism, even though it’s not easy reading (and me personally, I am avoiding all snuff videos of Jews being killed, even though I know it’s important evidence, about all the lies our own snakes are telling us.)

THIS is the post about the late Avraham Azulai, HYD.

Scroll down fast, if you don’t want an eyeball full of the Hamas video showing how he really died.

The poor guy.

His poor wife, and family.

It still makes me very sad.

==

But, even the slipperiest snakes don’t last for ever.

BH, Moshiach is coming soon, but even if it’s Moshiach only in another 200 years, God forbid, even the biggest snake has a sell-by date.

There is a huge wave of teshuva happening all over the Jewish world right now, in so many different ways – and not just here in Israel.

The tipping point is approaching – we’d have been there a long time ago, if we weren’t still following the false prophets, and especially, the ‘Badddd, who were telling us all 10 years ago about how ‘fantastic’ Mr MAGA was….

They are still beating that drum, and the brain-addled people who don’t understand that the ‘Badddd have been part of the problem right from the start, and were NEVER good, just another ‘cut out’ to carry on controlling the Jews from within, are still dancing to their tune.

==

Tatty, this is still hurting a lot.

Especially, when you read stories of how those five soldiers got killed last week in Gaza, because they had a faulty ‘hatch’ on their vehicle that didn’t shut – and somehow, some Hamas terrorist knew all about that, walked over, opened it up, and lobbed a grenade inside…

Think about this for a moment.

Understand the level of betrayal that’s going on.

The number of ‘snakes’ we are really dealing with, here.

==

But even the slipperiest snake doesn’t last for ever.

The key now, is to stay as far away as possible from them, as they go down, and to make teshuva for being taken in by the false prophets.

Because even a dead snake can still bite you, if you get too close.

Can a Dead Snake Still Bite You 🐍 ?

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One brain, static electricity, and Uman 5786

Shavua tov!

The Rav said some interesting stuff about Iran, and I am planning to BH translate a chunk of it, and post it up here by Tuesday.

In the meantime, he also said that people should be flying out to Uman no later than Elul 25th this year – that’s THURSDAY, 18TH SEPTEMBER, 2025.

The tickets are pretty expensive this year, it looks like. But the Rav is stressing that people should go, and should fly out no later than September 18th.

==

Meantime, someone wanted to know what is this ‘one brain’ stuff I keep mentioning.

An acquaintance of mine actually put together a website that explains it pretty well, that you can see HERE.

They tried One Brain themselves a few years’ back, got good results, and so decided to retrain as therapist in it themselves. Perhaps more interestingly, my acquaintance is a frum man with a Breslov inclination, who speaks good English…..

I haven’t used them myself, BTW, and I’m not getting anything to tell you about them, just they put together a good website explaining what One Brain is, and me personally, I have seen a bunch of stuff move and disappear in my ‘One Brain’ sessions with my own lady, in the South of Israel.

==

Next up: static electricity.

Last week, I was sitting on my balcony, when my husband touched one of my teeth and I got the same sort of pain that’s been plaguing me for months.

That’s when I had an Aha! moment – that the pain is being caused by a build-up of static electricity.

That same night, I had a weird dream about ‘mochi balls’ – which I remembered very clearly when I woke up. That’s when I realised I actually had a pair of them, or ‘moqui marbles’, to give them their correct spelling, from last year’s obsession with healing stones and crystals. I dug them out of the cupboard, washed them off, and held them for a couple of hours. My teeth have BH, been feeling so much better. Now, they are under my pillow.

And BH, I am starting to sleep much better again, even though the weather here is pretty hot at the moment.

==

First, here’s a video showing what a ‘moqui marble’ actually is:

Opening Klerksdorp spheres and Moqui marbles

(Shmirat eynayim friendly).

It’s a ball of sandstone, that somehow got covered by a thick layer of iron.

There’s a bunch of weird theories about how these stones got formed, including the ubiquitous ‘aliens from mars’, but what I can tell you, is that they are very grounding stones, and with this new insight that it’s some massive build-up of static electricity that have been affecting my teeth – and very possibly, other people’s teeth and bones in other ways, too – I am now starting to think about some possible solutions for this problem.

Grounding is a big one.

But increasingly, getting hard to do, as so many of us don’t live on the ground floor level, don’t have gardens, and don’t have ‘grounded shoes’, especially as nearly every shoe today is rubber-soled.

==

I am still pondering this, so happy for any feedback.

And it’s segeuing in to the idea that keeping the floor clean, especially after Shabbat, of ‘smart dust’ may also be a big part of keeping the static electricity charge – and subsequent illnesses and pains it causes – at bay.

If you don’t know what ‘smart dust’ is, watch this:

What Is Smart Dust? – watch online in Yandex video search

Basically, we’re back to that idea of the ‘Internet of Things’, that they have gone so quiet about, but are slowly but steadily rowing us all towards.

==

So, that’s where I’m up to, right now.

BH, I will work on the Rav’s stuff and get it up by Tuesday.

And if you have any thoughts on this stuff, feel free to share.

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Avraham Azulai, HYD, and speaking out the soul

I just got back from a few days break up North, en famille.

I learnt a big lesson last year, not to let ‘wars’ and worries stop these little family breaks happening, because in so many ways, life has to go on as usual. That was the ‘message’ I got last Summer, when we went up for a two day vacation.

This year, we went back to the same spot – with two married kids, their husbands, and even a grandson, BH. There was so much to be grateful for and about.

There were big, green trees, birds chirping, cats roaming, wind blowing, BBQ kebabs sizzling….

It was really nice.

==

And then, one of my SILs got a phone call that a good friend from his just got killed in Gaza.

His name was Avraham Azulai. He was 25 years old, married for just two months, and just last week, he was having a big chat with my SIL about his construction working. Yesterday, he got snipered whilst on his bulldozer, in Gaza.

The week before, he was almost killed by a sniper, but he had what he called ‘a miracle’. He told my SIL he was going to do a seuda hoda’ah to thank Hashem for saving his life.

My SIL went into a very strange, almost panicked mood, as it suddenly struck him just how fragile life really is.

For all of us.

One day you’re here, and the next day, maybe, you aren’t.

That’s very sobering.

==

The holiday continued, because it has to, and because life has to go on.

I went down to the seperate beach at the Kinneret, and I saw just how ‘low’ the water level is – probably the lowest I’ve ever seen it, which honestly makes no sense, as we had a fair bit of rain this winter, even if it wasn’t tons and tons.

I think the water is being ‘diverted’, perhaps to some of the new reservoirs that have sprouted up like a rash, with a ton next to the Jordan.

I have no idea what’s going on with it all, but it just ‘feels’ dodgy to me.

==

So, they moved the lifeguard post 100 metre down the shore, put up another 50 metre of ‘fencing’ between the men and women’s section, and carried on.

Yesterday evening, there were the biggest waves I’ve ever seen on the Kinneret.

Mamash, if felt like a windy Mediterranean Sea, not a calm, placid lake bordering Tiberius.

I was in a rubber ring, getting bounced and splashed all over the place – including a wave crashing right into my ear, which meant I could feel stuff sloshing around for a few hours after I left.

That’s when I noticed the boundary rope, buoyed down, and I grabbed hold of it.

And that’s when I started to ‘enjoy’ those waves way more again – because I was holding on to something secure and ‘grounded’, so I wasn’t being pummeled and pushed all over the place by the angry waves.

The analogy is obvious.

(Hopefully…)

==

Next day, we headed off to Tsfat.

My husband went to the Ari mikva located in the old cemetery of Tsfat – half of which had been burnt to a total crisp.

I asked a local what had happened. He told me some kids were playing with matches, a fire started, and then the fire brigade decided the best thing was to just let it burn right up to the perimeter of the Old City.

He saw the puzzled look on my face, so he reassured me.

It was a controlled burn. We get a lot of snakes in the Old City, now there is nowhere for them to come up from.

While most of the graves are on the right hand side of the cemetery, by the Ari and further over, the left hand still has burial caves with Hannah and her seven sons, and a few others.

I was kinda shocked, that the fire brigade decided to ‘control-burn-cremate’ that side of the cemetery.

==

Tov, the husband went to dunk, and I went to do some TKs in the old Ari Sephardi shul.

Since all these people started going missing in Tsfat – while the police do absolutely nothing at all to find them – I have kind of gone off that place.

I have come to the conclusion that there is some sort of really evil stuff going on up there, and that has been colouring my view of Tsfat for the last couple of years (also, because it was the biggest stronghold of Sabbateans from the 1700s on).

So I sat in a corner room in the Ari shul, reciting some TKS and trying to be inconspicuous, because someone was holding a barmitzah celebration there.

==

After a few minutes, a sephardi guy with a shiny, white ‘barmitzvah’ kippa starts motioning to me with his hand, to ‘come here’.

I thought he was trying to move me out of my spot, so I first ignored him.

But he didn’t take no for an answer. Next thing I know, he is walking over to me with a plate, and literally demanded that I take something to eat and drink – whatever you want!!! – from his kiddush, and make a blessing on it.

I can bless you without eating something…I tried to argue. He wasn’t having any of it.

It’s not me who is telling you to bless, the way you should, it’s HaKadosh Baruch Hu! he told me, with a very serious look on his face and pointing earnestly to the sky.

So, I caved, took a drink, speared a few bits of fancy beetroot, and made the blessing.

==

I realised, I really have to start looking for the good in people again, including people in Tsfat with shiny white kippahs who were so generous-hearted, they wanted a complete stranger to chow down on their kiddush.

I also realised, there is still so much ‘good’ to see.

But the lessons weren’t over yet, as the next stop was Meron.

==

Meron had a nice vibe, but was quite busy.

So, I left the inside bit of the tomb, and went to sit in the outside bit for women, under a big wooden pergola for shade.

It was much quieter. A grey cat was so soundly asleep on one of the wooden tables I thought maybe, it was dead. There was an old lady with a suitcase with her back to me, muttering something.

And then, there was an obese young women wearing tights pulled so tight, they were practically see-thru, and a see-thru shirt that showed her bra, with three small kids including one in a pushchair.

Urrggh, what is someone like that doing here?!

Was my first, unkind, thought.

Then, as I heard her on the phone planning her trip home that involved taking three small kids, by herself, on THREE separate buses…. I felt ashamed of myself, for judging her like that.

==

True, the clothing was awful

But probably even more true, this person had put way more effort into coming to Rashbi than I had, in my airconditioned car.

==

While I was pondering all this, doing some hitbodedut, the old muttering woman turned around, and started muttering in my direction.

I pantomimed I was praying, and couldn’t talk – which she correctly took to mean that I’m from Jerusalem.

Within two seconds, I realised she was bonkers, and that actually, it suited us both that she could just talk at me, without expecting a reply.

==

She began:

Who would think this war would continue like this, it hurts the heart.

I nodded.

You have to pray for Am Yisrael, you have to tell God how much it hurts the heart.

I nodded again. I started to think maybe, Eliyahu HaNavi had dressed up like an old, crazy sephardi granny who reminded me not a little of my own, late, crazy sephardi granny.

Then, she went off into crazyville:

You need to wear a different mitpachet, otherwise your face will turn black from the sun.

I nodded again – but this is when I realised she was actually bonkers.

And, you need to wear sunglasses, because sunlight is very bad for the eyes. That’s what the doctors told me.

(The opposite is actually true, but I just carried on nodding.)

==

You have a very good nose, you need to look after it, she said.

I was puzzled, but nodded again – it made her happy to have someone listening to her, I guess.

My daughter Chavi paid 6,000 to have lazer surgery to get a nose like yours. It’s a perfect nose! People pay 6,000 to get your nose, and you need to look after it, and keep it out of the sun!

==

OOKAYYY, then.

I let her talk on for another 10 minutes until she ran out of steam, then she turned her back to me again, and I went back to the Tziyon of Rashbi.

I thought to myself, she’s right, that I have to pray for Am Yisrael more, and I have to tell God how much this hurts the heart, what is going on.

I sat down – and I could feel a vale of tears a million miles wide in my soul, that’s been ‘blocking’ me from really engaging, really interacting with what is going on. It’s been too upsetting, all these people dying like this, all the corruption, all the lies being told.

In parts, it’s also been very scary and worrying.

And lastly – I have been feeling so much yeoush the last few weeks, about what me, you, or almost anyone can do to get this to change, to stop, to improve.

It’s been easier to ‘ignore’ it all, than to engage.

==

But up North, I got the message this holiday that there is ‘good’ ignoring, and ‘bad’ ignoring.

‘Bad’ ignoring is where I pretend that I am totally disinterested, life goes on, lalalalalala.

‘Good’ ignoring is where I still stay out of the news and all the pointless, soul-draining, speculation, as much as possible, whilst still telling God:

Tatty, this really hurts. Please make it stop.

‘Good’ ignoring is where I still take some time to go and learn a bit about Avraham Azulai, HYD, and the people who are one degree away from me, at least them, and to cry over them, and to tell God:

Tatty, this really hurts. Please make it stop.

==

There are 1,000 Avraham Azulai’s, and counting, in Israel.

Each one has a family, a ‘back story’, people who are mourning them.

This is such a difficult time, in so many ways, and one of the hardest aspects is that I can’t see dereck hateva how the Evils are ever going to stop this war.

There is no goal, no plan, no military objective, no end to the ‘terrorists’, no solution in sight.

Just more young people getting killed in more strange incidents, and ‘accidents’, while our politicians congratulate each other and nominate The Orange Fiend for peace prizes.

What peace?!

Really, what did I miss, what ‘peace’ is going on here?!

==

At the Rashbi, I cried, a little bit, for the first time in months.

There is still a way to go, until the ‘vale of tears’ can be properly traversed again, and I can really start to process all this stuff we are all going through. But I took it as a really good sign, because writers capture the zeitgeist of the society they belong to, and for the last two months, I have been unable to really process, or write, or pray from a place of engaging with what has been going on.

I’m someone who likes solutions, resolutions, clarity, action, plans.

And apart from banging on about the pidyonot, and saying TKS – I don’t have anything else to say, right now.

Except:

Tatty, this really hurts. Please make it stop.

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